Laura
the-ugly-thing

I made this account when i was 13 and at the time it was my username for everything. I wish that i could change it although i have no idea what to! And i'd rather keep my cults etc. People comment me asking about my username, so i thought i should explain.

At the time i decided on the username because i thought i was bad off. I wasn't happy with myself and had low self esteem. I find it annoying now and i try to make the most of things rather than moan over petty problems. I don't think i am "pretty" as such but what's moaning about it going to do?

Another reason for my username was that when my Mum was pregnant she used to say things like "I'd do anything so that the baby doesn't turn out like Laura" which made me feel like a bad person and "ugly". I've been brought up with my family always being like "uggh look at that thing" about other people, so that's where that came from.

I think my username still applies to me in a way... When i'm out i constantly feel like i'm being watched or laughed at, making me feel a bit of an outcast. I used to thrive on attention from being different but now it makes me feel anxious. I think it also applies to me because i second guess myself a lot sometimes at the expense of other people. I hate being horrible to anyone and i feel really bad that i have been in the past.



The more i think about myself as a person, the less i understand. I feel self centred talking about myself and usually avoid it. I'm a bit of a background person, i like to go along with things, although i can be quite opinionated. I hate not being polite and i hate being horrible to anyone. My friend said before that i'd get raped and still say sorry. It's not really to my benefit but i hate rudeness and feel uncomfortable. I'm not sure if i'm quiet, shy, or unconfident, but i find it hard talking to people and feeling close to people. I like solitude and i'd rather keep to myself in order to get things done, which is strange because i'm also a really worried person and i feel safer with other people. I like to pay attention to detail and i like to take my time to get things perfect, rather than rushing through things. I feel like there's no point doing something if you're not going to do it properly and although i don't know what i want to do in the future, i actually care about it. I pick fault with things and people a lot. I take most things people say seriously and i often believe the most absurd things. I'm scared of almost everything and i find it really annoying and restricting. I think i'm a pretty boring person and i'm really fussy and picky so i can only blame myself for changes which have happened. I hate how horrible i sound, but i think if you met me in real life i'd come across a bit nicer than my profile makes me sound...

I'm a fairly chilled out person and i don't think i really dislike much, but if i do not like something, chances are i'll detest it. I can't stand arrogance and ignorance. Apart from that, i'm fairly open to everything and i don't think i dislike anything in particular, even though i sometimes moan about petty things. I do not like it when people say "we was" or "what are you going for?"

My music taste varies a lot and i think it's the best way really. I appreciate bands that are good live a lot more though. I've been to a lot of gigs and hope to carry on going to more. My favourite bands are probably: Ladyhawke, One Night Only, Mindless Self Indulgence, The Horrors, Placebo and Florence And The Machine. Although, i get bored of listening to the same bands over and over. www.last.fm/the-ugly-thing probably gives a better idea.