Hello! My name is Allison Eckfeldt; The pleasure of meeting you is all mine.
A short introduction about me is that I am mostly known for my Synthpop Darkwave band Esoterik (www.esoterikmusic.com) and for my Youtube channel The_Goblin_Queen. (formerly Kazlovesbats) I am also a freelance illustration artist.
I have been asked to create content for the Vampire Freaks family that may be of interest to everyone; and happily I accepted as I not only love VF but I also love connecting with as many people as possible and looking at all the different beautiful view points of this world from everyone.
I will be doing these journal entries every Tuesday accompanied with a video containing content that has been prompted by you the readers and the viewers of the videos. If you would like to suggest future video/journal content feel free to comment on this journal entry or my actual uploaded youtube video about what you would like to see from me in the future. I want this to be as interactive as possible so also please feel free to ask me any questions.
As the title suggests today's topic is 'Courage to be Goth'.
What will happen if I dress Goth?
Goth can be intimidating when first taking a glance into this velvety, clove covered subculture. Often times the intimidation comes from a fear of how family members will perceive you, a question of if you are too old at this point in the game to grow you own lovely pair of bat wings, a wonder of how serious possible new job prospects will take you while parading in your black lace dress or black button up with all black slacks, ETC.
We could go on for a while about why this subculture is intimidating however I feel like all of these are "What if" type scenarios. We could ask "What if" about anything in life for hours but the reality/truth is in our current life right here, right now in front of this computer monitor.
I am a firm believer in leaving no stone unturned, living every second of life to the fullest; so when someone tells me about their love of Gothic lifestyle but how scared they are to outwardly dress in such a way I tilt my head slightly confused.
If you love goth you shouldn't restrict yourself from dressing it out of fear of others perception. Simple as that.
Our society (at least in America) loves to judge others constantly. You could be a model citizen and still there's someone out there that will be judging your existence. Sure it is sad but it is life; and a small fraction of life at that.
You are going to get judged no matter what you do so you might as well do what you love and live the life you see for yourself rather than living a life others tell you to live.
This is your moment on the earth to learn, grow and be everything you desire to be.
So be it.
When a person decides to bully you, or degrade you based upon gothic clothing or lifestyle, all it boils down to in the end is that the person bullying you doesn't understand you....and with that lack of understanding they lash out at you for breaking the status quo of "normal" society.
This isn't your problem, this is a lesson for them and their life path.
The status quo of how a "professional" dresses, or how a "respectable" person lives their life is bullshit made up by other humans. If you are not hurting anyone and you are truly happy then by all means do what works for you.
Instead of worrying about their internal issues of wrapping their mind around your fashion choices just be you to the fullest. Don't hide yourself because you aren't fitting into the invisible rules of how we are "supposed" to outwardly look.
Can I get a professional job dressing Goth?
Now I understand that some of us can't go all out due to bills that have to be paid; so unfortunately we do have to edit down ourselves for professional settings until our society grows as a whole and learns that clothing and outward appearance doesn't effect work ethic.
We'll see the day we are treated professional despite our outward projection in the future.
For now I actually have two separate wardrobes. One for business corporate goth Allison and one for the real authentic goth Allison. It is sad but that is the world we are living in now... and I want to be able to eat and afford a comfortable lifestyle.
In the end you just have to figure out a healthy balance for yourself to where you are not compromising your happiness.
I find what works best for me is to keep both work and personal life separate. I work to live I don't live to work.
I'm ready to dress Goth but is the world ready for me?
"When you're born into a world that doesn't understand you
it's because you were born to help create a new one"
I'm not going to sit here and lie to you;
There will be people that scoff at you. There will be people who take photos of you without asking first with the intention of making fun of you. People will also try to touch your outfit or hair without asking (I've even had my hair pulled by a complete stranger before). You will have complete strangers yell horrible things at you.
It's all negative reactions listed above but humans who display negativity are lashing out due to their own internal turmoil. Lashing out in such ways normally just show how much pain or restrictions people have put on themselves.
Their negative reaction is on them not on you. Once again. Their negative reaction is on them not on you.
You aren't doing anything wrong by making a choice to artistically express yourself.
Do not live in fear, be courageous and let your "freak" flag, society has deemed you with, fly high.
My favorite quote from the movie 'Party Monster' is:
"I mean if you have a hunchback, just throw a little glitter on it, honey, and go dancing."
I feel like this is the mantra we need to have. Be proud of what you look like, what you where born with, and who you are; No matter what others say is beautiful or ugly. Be confident in your choice to dress or look how you wish.
Your courage to be who you authentically will be infectious and spread to others.
You will also have positive reactions while wearing Goth: Elders often tell me that I am beautiful and that they wish they had the courage to dress the same in their youth, Women compliment my hair color often and ask how I tease my hair so high, Children tell me they want to dress like me or innocently ask me if I'm a fairy or a princess, and I have other artists in the illustration industry draw me often as their muse.
Good can outweigh the bad easily but you must make a choice to see things that way.
In closing I hope I have given confidence to anyone, weighing the choice of becoming the beautiful Goth of their dreams, to finally take a drive into this beautiful velvety lifestyle.
Please feel free to let me know your thoughts on anything I have listed above and also please feel free to let me know what you'd like me to talk about in the future.