Oh bloody croissants.

Je m'appelle Benjamin, and just like a lot of you, I'm never really sure how to or what to write in this space, and therefore, never really end up writing about myself as a person. It's awkward, for one, and it's not as if I'll give an objective view about myself. It's not as if I am going to tell you what I don't want you to know. Hell, there are probaby bad habits that I've always had but never realised. The probability is that I'm a cunt, so take your chances, gamblers.
As for rating wise, I'm not going to rate you back unless you leave a comment or something. For one thing, I barely check who has rated me, and another is that I want to know why I deserve the any superficial rating point.

Oh god, I'm sounding boring and pretentious already


I have not much to say, apart for my undying love for my fiancée, called Amy, of whom I will soon be living with (:

This is not an ordinary love story.

She lives in Louisiana, US, and I live in England. This isn't an internet relationship (we've met before, last December ♥), and this isn't going to be a long distance relationship for much longer. We're going to be a full on couple! Come the 20th July 2009, I'm moving down to the states to be with her. It's taken me 6 months to try and get accepted into an American university, dealing with all the paperwork and embassy appointments, and to fund it all, but now it's finally happening!
How long have I known my soulmate for?
Well, just about a year.
And I know I know, it's a very short period of time that we've known each other for, and some deem it as hasty to 'leave' everything behind so quickly. Though, I just have a feeling about this - I just know that this is where I want to go and where I want to be. It's almost instinctive. 'Love' isn't about mathematics or analytical calculation, and nor is it scientific (only the chemistry! ba-dum-tish), it just.. happens. This is different to the other relationships I've had, this is different to everything ever. I've rang the university countless of times, filled out numerous amounts of documents, paid numerous fees, travelled around the country to take tests and attend appointments and interviews, just so I can wake up to her scent every morning, just so I can make her coffee and breakfast, just so we can finally be together. I've never been big on the supernatural/superstitious beliefs (well, not in this topic anyway), but I can just feel something pull us together. It's as if something wants needs us to be together, it's strange, but I'm more than willing to do it. I never counted it as love at first sight, but more of a 'we-were-always-meant-to-be' kind of thing. It was just a matter of time before we met.

I must apologise for not being as poetic as my other half; for when you read what she has to say about me, eloquent, tuneful words fall from her mouth, so much so a butterfly could fly out! Words filled with imagery, it gives you the tingly feeling you get all over your body when you hear a really good fucking song.
I must emphasise that I believe know that she is my soulmate. I mean like, this one time, we both agreed for me to call her at this certain time, and to go on cam and such (it was like 1am for me, and like 7pm for Amy), and when we got on cam together, we were both eating an apple
What a lovely world of probability and coincidences! But yes, I must thank my lucky stars for coming across this lovely hunk of a woman (lol). She really has saved my life, of which I will not go into detail to, and I believed I have saved her in some way. And this is not the whole "x saved my life cause I was about to give up in guys and kill myself by cutting my wrist in the wrong direction with a safety pin, but then he told me he loved me and everything's all hunky dory", no. This is a lot deeper than that (though I'm sure you've heard that before, too), but it's not for the public to know ;] I hope you understand.
I am totally loyal and committed to someone who lives 4655 miles away, and we're keeping it alive.
If you want to know more, then ask away, cause I love retelling what happened throughout that week in December. The hotel shower turning into a swimming pool, hotel shower being 435643253 floors beneath us, the clumsiness in Chinatown, Amy getting stopped at immigration cause they thought that I was some murdering, slave driving, child fucking psychopath, me getting stop-and-searched by police cause they thought I was a terrorist, BAHA!
I really have found my soulmate. This exceeds love, this feeling is so vast, you have no idea. So I guess the four lettered word will have to do for now.
She is the true meaning of beauty, intelligence, creativity and love.
Treat her nicely (:
I love, adore, respect, admire you, this girl. Never will my feelings for her lessen ♥♥


She draws me silly stuff all the time (:



ps. Amy's my octopus legs
aimer l'amour.

pleas⋅ure
/ˈplɛʒər/ Pronunciation [plezh-er] noun, verb, -ured, -ur⋅ing
1. The state or feeling of being pleased or gratified.
2. A source of enjoyment or delight

1. indian accents
2. walking on drain covers
3. puddings and cakes shaped as animals; preferably cats and/or rabbits
4. paint peeling from the ceiling
5. kites
6. android 18
7. magnets
8. 16:9 widevision
9. dead notes on electric guitars
10. male nurses, women doctors
11. black people (:
12. the french language
13. happy children
14. standing or sitting on the floor on long train journeys
15. singing in the shower
16. bioilluminesence
17. samaras or "maple keys" seeds - 'whirly birds' or helicopter leaves
18. the words 'gobshite' and 'motherfuckery'
19. debates
20. chifers
21. only using two dots to symbolise an elipsis
22. not capitalising words when appropiate
23. 8 bit
24. mythology. especially egyptian and greek mythology, with daedalus being my favourite character (so to speak)
25. buddhism
26. alchemy
27. raw vocals
28. john campbell, picturesforsadchildren
29. when the moon glows a reddy orange colour
30. character studies of Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends
31. bees
32. schadenfreude


33. and of course, coffee

de·test (dĭ-těst')
tr.v. de·test·ed, de·test·ing, de·tests
1. To dislike intensely; abhor.

1. people filling out applications outloud


2. people who play their ringtones in public places, 'deciding' which one they want (it's worse when they go back to the beginning because they suddenly realised that it's better than all the other ones, but when they get there they're not so sure again..)


3. manually breathing and blinking


4. tangled up earphones, and then when untangled, accidentally putting the right earphone in your left ear and/or the left earphone in the right ear


5. people who sit in the outer seat of two seats in buses and trains, blocking people from sitting next to them


6. hernias


7. when people talk about and refer to the simpsons (but futurama is fine)


8. mysoginy/male chauvinism (if I were female, I'd totally be a feminist)


9. the word 'tats' refering to breasts


10. eugenics


11. bnp/ukip


12. stacking the freezer/glasses, plates and cutlery in the dishwasher like im playing fucking tetris


13. religious fanatics


14. anti-religious fanatics


15. fart jokes

quirk /kwɜrk/ [kwurk]
–noun
1. a peculiarity of action, behavior, or personality; mannerism

1. when someone's taller than me, I subconsciouslly stretch as if to make myself taller (which, unfortunately, happens to be most of the time..)


2. whenever I see someone with a necklace, I have a tendency to then rub and grab mine


3. i notice that the back lights and bumper of cars make them have either happy faces or sad faces


4. i imagine someone running, skating, biking etc alongside me when i'm in a bus, car or train


5. i look at powerlines and admire the natural aliasing that happens when two lines intersect


6. when the sun is shining, i expose the underside of my forearms and my palms so it feels like im catching sunlight


7. i have no style.


8. when someone's walking alongside me who i don't know, i tend to speed up but then let them walk ahead of me, and i always give them a quick glance as they talk past


9. when i see someone who i kinda know and who i don't particularly want to talk to, i quickly pretend i didn't see them and carry on walking, and when they query me about it later i say that i didn't see them, but i always get offended when that happens to me


10. i always get vietnamese, indonesian, thai and malaysian food mixed up


11. when people reminisce about past events but get some of the details wrong, you prove that they are wrong; but they get stubborn - they know they're wrong, but sitck by what they have said to not sound like an idiot, so much so that they believe that the wrong details of the event actually happened


12. i cannot pronounce the word 'wholly'


13. i often mispell honey as hunny


14. when im at a pedestrian/pelican crossing and there are children with their parent(s) opposite, even when there are no cars coming, i wait for the little man to go green until i cross the road

I can't actually speak French - I have no clue about the grammatics or the meaning of any of the words.

Online translators are a wonderful thing.


click here to go back

I will make this link to my blog at some point.

By popular demand (and by popular, I mean one person), I'm going to write about something my mum told me not long ago.

I like to think that it'll have some effect on your lives, rather than you reading about a stranger you'll comment twice and never speak to them again.

So yeah, let me try and set the scene (you may want to turn off the music for this). It's a Friday night, I just got back from work with a beer and a takeaway in hand. Sitting in the lounge eating and drinking, talking to my mum and not really paying any attention to the TV. Anyway, the conversation somehow led to a story about how my dad was millimetres away from creating a business, but then my mum got diagnosed with cancer in Hong Kong, where we were living at the time (I was like what, 7/8 at the time?). He had to drop everything to look after me, my sister and obviously, my mum. Then my mum started talking about what she felt like in hospital, with all the doctors telling her that she had a 50% chance of living and stuff, then I started talking about what was going through my mind at that time. I mean I was quite young back, so when she came out of hospital, we never really talked about it, so it was cool (: It got a load off my chest - I said things that I never really told anyone.

Anyway (I've completely gone off topic here), we moved back to England. My dad couldn't (and still can't) speak English very well, so he kinda ended up in a low end job, a big contrast to the successful manager of his own company that he was going to be.

A few years later, he had to go back to Hong Kong because of family problems, and he was gona stay there for a few years to plan his business, again, from square one; but he couldn't bare to be without his family for that long, to which my mum said (and this is the whole point of what I'm writing about) that he could have a mistress or another wife in Hong Kong/China whatever. I was shocked out of my shit! Why the fuck would my mum say that?! Firstly, she replied saying that it's quite a common thing that happens in Hong Kong/China - a man needs a woman, supposedly; but then she replied with a very deep analogy of a kite.

She said it's like when you're flying a kite. You throw the kite up when it's fairly breezy, and it starts flying around in the air, quite freely, and carelessly. When you want it closer/lower, you pull the string; when you want it higher/away, you let some of the string slide out of your hand, right? Anyway, sometimes when you're flying a kite, you get random blasts of wind that last for like 20 seconds or so. You can't keep hold of the string 'cause otherwise the string will snap, and the kite will be lost. Sometimes, you just have to let some of the string go so there's less tension. You've still got the kite, it's just a bit further away from you, and in time, when the wind dies down a bit, you can start bringing the kite back in further towards you, ya know?

I'm not trying to sound pretentious or anything, I just thought it was pretty cool story :3

contact.

• facebook
• twitter
• deviantart
• wordpress, blog