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mahokuro
Status: Uploaded a dozen new art works to my deviant art page if anyone would like to take a gander.
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Sex: female
Age: 23
Location:
United States
Orientation: Undecided
Mistress to: Xainlrd
Wants to make babies with: Vyolyt
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Member since: July 30, 2005
Last logged in: February 10, 2012, 07:25am
Account Status: Free Account
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Latest Journal Entry: Jes' Valentine's Day 'card' is complete January 23, 2012, 11:15pm
Profile:
MAHOKURO
MADAME BLACK MAGICK
A voice as soft as mist
A face like that of an angel
A tongue sharper than any two edged sword
and a vengeful sadistic personality as painful as a garden of thorns..
KNOWLEDGE IS CONTAGIOUS. I HOPE MY PROFILE INFECTS YOU..
~I only pretend to be an open book for your amusement.~
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Greetings, cyber wanderers. Please, call me Sea. No, it is not the name on my birth certificate, but all of my friends and colleagues refer to me as such.
I used to be very careless and unapologetic, though as I've matured, I'm finding that good grammar does wonders elevating one's class and that good manners cost nothing. I'm also very silly and enjoy nothing more than to make those I love laugh and feel comfortable.Other than that, I can't really tell you about my personality, because I don't see myself the way others perceive me. You can't ask others about who I am because we all as human beings are pretty biased, and they have no idea what exactly lies beneath my skin. We create a beautiful barrier, the world and I, in a sense, which keeps the universe in balance. Believe me, however, I am not praising myself as some mysterious being who dwells within the shadows of cyberspace. I, like the rest of you out there, have my fair share of various types of problems (which may include, but are not limited to: Mental, Emotional,Physical, and Social), but I refuse to advertise it all over the net in hopes of obtaining some stranger's pity. Although I think I'm far from average, I'm just as far from extraordinary. I am an extreme as well as a median.
As much as I hate to admit it, I will act like a stereotypical woman..
Which as a feminist, makes me cringe..
I will tell you all of my thoughts, yet hide from you my emotions..
I tend to speak what's on my mind, but keep what's in my heart silent.
 
First and foremost, I refuse to be a slave. Life is short- too short to let any outside force oppress you. I oppose those who try to tell me how to live and how to think; I refuse to accept the media's idea of beauty; I do not let what's 'cool' and sociably acceptable dictate my life; I do not give control of my life over to substances. Furthermore, I'm no slave to ratings- hence I have no rate bar. However, I will rate you, since a rate bar silently begs for a rating. Be ye warned, I RATE HONESTLY. So, about me.. I have quite a few whims and ambitions. I'm a writer, but only an amateur. I enjoy cooking, but rarely have time to truly perfect my skill. I sketch, which takes the edge off my day. I like experimenting with makeup and photography, and I like doing other people's makeup, and I love working on eyebrows. I'm also a collector of many things. My biggest collections are swords, corsets, dragons, and incense. I'm an amateur interior designer as well as ordained minister. 
I must say, I've changed quite a bit through the years, of course as most do, but I'm still astonished at the change. I was actually rather shy and quiet during my younger years, though I still have my moments. I also used to tone down my Gothic sense of style,partially to peer pressure, and partially to the strict dress code of the religious school I went to; however, after "growing up" and starting school at a very liberal university, I became more comfortable embracing my own sense of style, which was actually a miniature triumph for me because in all of my years in college/university, I had never seen another "campus Goth." Though I have to say, it hadn't damaged my reputation as a student; I was one of the top students in my class, and as stated above, good manners, along with sincerity, goes a long way. To get to my point, in my early and middle teen years, I wasn't happy with the person I was; I hated everything in life, including myself, and I let other people control me and treat me like dirt. I cant' help but think that it all changed when I met a certain man who would eventually end up stealing my heart and completely tilting the axis of my little, mundane world.
Unfortunately, when the good arrives, the bad soon follows thereafter. A good friend of mine noted a while ago that since starting college I seem to have a presence of sadness. I responded to that with a coy smile and chimed "They do claim 'ignorance is bliss' after all." I will agree with her though; the world is a much darker place than I even imagined.. what's worse is that the biggest evil you will ever encounter is almost always cleverly disguised and claims to be ultimately good. Don't get me wrong, I'd much rather be aware and grim than to be content and naive. But I'm not saying the world is nothing but hate and trickery, there are many, many good people who are much more noble than I believed; unfortunately, the bad somehow outshines the good.
(October 2007)
Jes..the angel that saved me from one of the darkest moments of my life and quite possibly saved my life.
He's the most amazing man I've ever met. Every day I find myself falling even deeper in love with him. It's been almost five years, and without a doubt, these were five of the happiest years of my life. He gives me purpose, reason to get up every day. I was blessed to live with him for the entire 2008 summer, 2009 summer, and 2010 summer; we hope to move in together permanently in 2011. I love his body, I love his mind, and I love his soul. Even though I cannot always physically be with him, just knowing he loves me makes the torturous wait bearable. He would do anything for me and puts up with more out of me than most would. He's changed me for the better and for that, I'm eternally grateful to him. His name is forever engraved upon my heart.I could fill up libraries of books of poetry for him, and it still could not express my love for him. Our love is one that spans over 1000 miles; I owe it all to this very website for finding him. In the summer of 2011 he packed up all of his belongings and his kitty cat and drove all of those miles in just 19 hours. We now have our own cozy apartment. Moral of the story, love truly conquers all challenges.
(January 2012) 
I've always been drawn to darker and more macabre things in life, though that really makes me no different from most of the people on this site. I like music (who doesn't) but I'm not going to say its my passion or my life. I would hate to go without it, but I'm sure after a while, I'd get used to a world without music. My choice in music is based purely on its sound and lyrical meaning- I DON'T CARE if the singer beats their kids or hunts Siberian tigers. I don't agree with those things of course, but it's about the taste of the wine, not the shape of the bottle.
^^^Actually, scratch most of that. I do appreciate music.I'm really into history and keeping records..and music oft times spurs the most random, precious, detailed memories for me.. sometimes it's like a time machine. I think it's cheesy to talk about how much music means to me, but it does have meaning to me.
One last thing-- I hold a strong belief that pop music is contributing the the decay of human society....but maybe I'm just becoming an old fogie. 
I suppose right now in my life, I consider myself an agnostic with influences from Wicca, Buddhism, and Jesus Christ (but not necessarily Christianity). I'm completely respectful of and very fascinated by other people's religions, especially Wicca and Buddhism. I grew up with a strict Baptist/Pentecostal upbringing. I've nothing against people with these beliefs and encourage them to practice as they see fit, but now as an adult I've discovered that neither of these are for me personally. I do not find them logical; they do not bring me peace.
I consider myself to be on a very open minded spiritual path. I thirst for enlightenment. I love gaining knowledge, especially about deep things such as spirituality and religion-- which is probably why I chose to take a university religion course. I always love learning about various cultures' takes on deities, morality, and the afterlife. (Of course, I'm also a mythology buff.)
In contrast to popular belief, I believe that spirituality and science go hand in hand. I believe in the metaphysical, though I can't say that I really believe in the Judeo-Christian idea of "God." I feel that it's truly impossible to know God, to know his/her/their ways, because our minds just cannot grasp his/her/their methods of thoughts. I believe that the physical and metaphysical complete one another, however we have yet to bridge the gap between the two. I believe in magick, but I think that magick is nothing more than that which science has yet to figure out.
People underestimate the power of energy. A great read that surprisingly covers religion is Raven Digitalis' Goth Craft. Digitalis speaks from a Pagan perspective, however the power of spiritual energies he mentions transcends any label of creed or religious denomination. He mentions in his book about going once to a Christian church with a friend and feeling a strong spiritual energy emanating from their prayer circle. Now we all know that energy is something that's real, existent, scientifically proven, so if energy is something interwoven with spirituality, there is some basis for my theory of the metaphysical and the physical being two parts of one whole.You hear all the time of people healed by prayer; could it be the positive energy we emanate through prayer is what heals us? This also makes me think of ghosts, souls separated from physical vessels. Could our souls be our energy, our driving force-- and ghosts be our left over energy which has yet to transcend into another form? Better question- where does that energy go? What happens to it? We'll never know the Truth (that is, until we die); being 100% right is not possible, but one can strive to become more accurate.
So what do I believe? I believe in following the teachings of Jesus. Most Christians ignore when he said to judge not and love one another (ironically, the Apostles did too) and he rebelled against the rules of the religious rulers and gave up his life for a cause he believed in. I don't know if he was divine, but he was a holy man with a message of love, which to me means he should be held with the highest respect, despite the evils that his followers do. As far as a divine creator entity.. I believe in one, or many..the life force that goes through the universe, causing the planets to spin, causing bread to mold. Maybe it intervenes in our lives and hears our prayers, maybe it doesn't. I believe in Karma, but do not believe in Hell. I cannot wrap my mind around a benevolent Creator(s) causing his/her/their own creation, their own children, stupid children, to suffer for eternity for sinning, which incidentally seems like something we're almost programmed to do. That being said, however, I think the best description of what a sin really is comes from The Kite Runner: "there is only one sin, only one. And that is theft. Every other sin is a variation of theft... When you kill a man, you steal a life. You steal his wife's right to a husband, rob his children of a father. When you tell a lie, you steal someone's right to the truth. When you cheat, you steal the right to fairness." As far as what happens when we die, I'm a firm believer of reincarnation, and also of a final land of rest after we've made all of our journeys. I also believe that spirituality is something personal; you'll never find me trying to convert anyone or attending a church/synagogue/mosque unless invited or doing research.
In short, faith is faith, and as long as it is based in love, compassion, and brother/sisterhood and wants what is best for humanity, it has not only my tolerance, but also my respect.
- Education/higher knowledge -
Simply put, I recently graduated from college (University to non-Americans)with honors with a degree in Optometric Technology and Opticianry, though I'm still entertaining the idea of later returning to continue my studies later in life, perhaps in Human Sexuality, or perhaps I may work towards a two year degree to become a mortician. I've seen my share of human corpses, be it skinned, sliced open on an examination table, or in its "natural element" such as a car (yes, I've discovered a body and had to call the police) or bed (sadly enough, I've witnessed loved ones take their last precious breaths); I'm rather desensitized to that sort of morbidness so it really wouldn't be a problem from me. I'd also love to use some extra credits I had and put them towards a Bachelor of General Studies degree. My life goal is to have at least 3 degrees before I die.
- PENT-
Months before I even knew of his existence, I thought up the name. I had gone along with my religiously fanatic, or rather, fanatically religious mother to her church. As the preacher was ranting about homosexuals and Hispanics, I was daydreaming about having two snakes, one named Pentagram, the other Pentecostal. The idea later morphed into having either a dog or cat, named simply Pent, named after both, as well as having "pent up" energy. Pent is my baby and friend. He was a very special gift to me, born on the very night of my university graduation. As I was getting my diploma he was making his way into the world. I've never had a cat so playful, lovable, or able to make me laugh when I feel awful. He's sassy and backtalks whenever he's in trouble.
- Art -
I'm quite fond of the human nude form in all of it's wonderful variety of different shapes, sizes, and colors. We are a beautiful species, indeed.
I also love creating fantasy art and conceptual works.
I have a Deviant Art Page that displays all of my works, from photography to sketches.
- Interior decorating -
I like making my space all my own. I like classical yet comfortable looks with a dark twist.
- Cooking/baking/crafts -
Some days I feel like I could give Martha Stewart a run for her money. I could practically live at Hobby Lobby. I love being creative and being able to give people unique gifts. Most people would bitch about working all day, then having to cook afterwards. I however, find it very therapeutic. This year I hope to branch out into gothic flower arrangements. At this point I have no etsy shop, and I don't intend on making one. For now, everything I create is for myself and loved ones.
- Feminism -
I am not, repeat, NOT a man hater. I hate no one. However, I do hate misogyny. I hate forced gender norms. I hate prejudice. I hate that men and women do not receive equal pay. I hate that in most of the world women are considered physically, emotionally, and intellectually weaker than their male counterparts. I hate that society still feels that "Men act; women appear." I hate that girls younger and younger feel a pressure to be sexy, or at least as pretty as possible-- on that note I hate child pageants. I hate that boys get cars and girls get baby dolls (not that I have anything against motherhood, in fact, I hope to be a mother myself, someday). I hate that people still feel women should "know their place." I hate that women are considered worthless if they don't meet a certain beauty standard. I hate that women are flippantly referred to as "bitches" and "whores", especially when the words are spewed from the mouth of a fellow female. I hate that contraception is considered a "women's issues." I hate that women are either 'whores' or 'virgins' with no in between. I hate when movies have female characters for the sole purpose of being in distress or being sexy, or in most cases, both. I hate that feminism is perceived as female narcissism or supremacy.
- All things eye related -
I actually love my job, despite just sort of falling into my career after not knowing what to do with my life. I've learned so much and can ramble off all things optometry/eye related topics for hours. I love explaining to people what their prescriptions mean and the math behind the numbers and even how the lenses are made in the lab to correct their impaired vision. Although this is my first career, it's truly turned into a passion. I'm a skilled optician, I'm a skilled optometric lab technician, and I'm damn proud of it.  Jes, Eternally- He's the one.. the one person I thought I wouldn't find until much later. Some say there's no such thing as twin flames or soul mates, but those are typically words from the bitter. I know he's the one that was created for me, and set on a path of destiny by Providence. I've never felt this way about anyone. I've never had a psychic connection so strong with someone, where I could think of him, and he'd instantly know it, or vice versa; or even feel pain when the other is in pain. It's scary and beautiful all at once, and that's what I adore about our Love. Even as I write this, I tremble with joy, just like the first time he told me he loved me, or when he gave me a Promise Ring, or when we first kissed, when we first became one. I have to say, I'm blessed. I don't deserve someone like him. He's the man that most women say is a myth. He's brilliant, gorgeous, loving, generous, devoted, faithful, funny, playful, serious, hell, he even knows what shampoos work best! He's amazing. I once wrote a list, it was a silly list really, I was about 14 when I made it, but he met every single one of those criteria, even the 'Must like anime' rule. We match on all levels of compatibility. He's a best friend and lover all in one. I've never felt such a spiritual bond with someone as I had him.. just the way our hands linked together so perfectly..
Falling asleep in the arms of my Angel of Darkness-it's something that I don't get to do as often as I wish I could, due to our distance, so when I get to fall asleep with him physically, I cherish it.
Lying in his arms after making love-after the carnal bliss and orgasmic rapture, its nice to recover with him while listening to his beating heart.
Passion-be it passion for another person, or passion for a livelihood, its one thing that reminds me I still have a soul inside.
Solitude-I typically prefer it to being among people.I just like it for self-reflection and soul searching.
Thunderstorms-the most magnificent beauty of nature! The perfect balance of masculine power matched with feminine grace.
Blades, knives, and swords-there's just something about them I adore. I have about 10 in my collection so far.
Dragons-my favorite animal- be it medieval style or Asian style, dragons are awesome.
Lingerie-I just love collecting sexy, silky, frilly, feminine things.
The occult-I love mystery in this boring, mundane life.
Roses-the most lovely, romantic, and symbolic of all flowers.
Vampirism-dark and seductive-what's not to love?
Jeremy Irons' look of surrender... in the 1997 film Lolita..*shivers*((4:13-4:19 on this video ))Or when any man with power shows weakness and vulnerability in an erotic situation.
Japanese culture-sushi, the language, kimonos, samurai, haiku, technology, anime, and J-rock.
The nighttime-not as garish as day.. Sure, frightening things can lurk in the darkness, but so can you.
Moonlight-the unmistakable faint glow in night.. perhaps more beautiful than candle light.
Strawberries and crushed ice-a nice little treat
Joseph Vargo-I love the feeling behind his work, along with his typical one-color style.
James Dean-The best icon from the 50's. I feel drawn to him, for the fact his birthday is the same as mine, we were born in the same state, and had similar childhoods.
Maggie Shayne romance novels-especially those about the Immortal Witches. It was erotic without being smutty, and was interesting without being too far fetched or too corny.
European and other ritzy/fancy Chocolates-if sophistication had a taste, it would be Ferrero Rocher. I've gotten them for the past two years for Valentine's Day from my boyfriend ^_^
Photography-one of my favorite hobbies
Candles, incense, and anything else that will go up in flame-maybe I'm a pyro, but I just think something burning with a nice scent brings better atmosphere to a room, along with a certain mystique.
Corsets-they give that perfect feminine hour glass form while retaining their antique charm.
Boots-especially vinyl. The higher they go, the more they tie up, the sexier. It's one of the few things that looks sexier when it covers more skin.Heels have nothing on boots.~Heels are for the Playboy Bunnies, but boots are for the Suicide Girls~
Astrology-I always love learning about it. Do I believe in it? I'm not sure.. but some times my horoscope is eerily accurate.
Raw cookie dough-it's so good because it's so sinfully bad. Not only is it fattening, but you're always told as a kid not to eat it because of raw egg in it.
Old episodes of the Addams Family- you can't go wrong with the classics. They were probably the earliest form of goths in the media.
Cats..actually most animals-I've always related most to cats when it comes to personality, and I just have a love for all animals. I even wanted to be a veterinarian up until the age of 17.
The Awkward Silenceof two reunited ex-lovers whose passions have passed decades ago.
The smell of Sharpie markers-good chemical smell.
The smell of burning wood-good natural smell.
The quiet that a heavy snowfall brings-which makes winter one of my favorite times of year.
The smell of gasoline-another good chemical smell-and an expensive one at that!
Poetry-writing it and reading it (but only of fine quality, no emo-poems for me).
Drawing-another hobby.
Writing-and another.
People courageous enough to speak their mind, and stick to their beliefs-I respect them for finding their voice, even when they're out numbered.
People strong enough to hold their tongue-I respect them for being able to hold back their rage.
Dreaming-it's been referred to before as 'the poor man's opium'. Sleep is my drug, and dreaming is the trip. My dreams are often much sweeter than my reality.
Finding kindredship with those different from me-I can make a good conversation with anyone given the right amount of time, but when I really click with a polar opposite, I love it.
Castles from the middle ages-I'd love to visit one- better yet, get married in one.
Morbid things-something that makes everyone else say "eww!" typically makes me say "ooh!"
Video gaming-I love basically every genre- fighting, first person shooters, rpg's, racing, and misc stuff like Grand Theft Auto and The Sims- and let us not forget Guitar Hero!
Horror novels-especially at night, when it's storming and I'm comfortably under my covers.
Ghosts/the paranormal/the unexplained-I've always been fascinated and drawn to stuff like this.
Manga and anime-there's just something about this art form that I've fallen completely in love with. The mannerisms? The bits of culture added in there? The big eyes? Whatever it may be, it's much better than American animation.
Cleaning-most people hate it, but its how I vent and meditate. I clean to celebrate, I clean to stop boredom, I clean when I'm depressed, or stressed with a lot on my mind.
Taking cat naps-once again, I'm like a cat, and I always love the weird feeling of having my schedule askew from waking up at 9 p.m.
Biblical proverbs-even if you don't exactly relate to Christianity, give it a read. The ancient Hebrews were wise beyond their time.
Chinese proverbs-I love ancient Chinese wisdom.
Fortune cookie papers-I collect them.
Antiques-call it the Victorian Goth in me, but antiquing is one of my favorite hobbies.
Old English-you'll often see me adding an extra 'e' to words. It's the language of those with highly honed language skills.
The woods-being one with nature and being alone. I'm all for it.
Faeries-I've been collecting them since childhood. Nothing annoying like Tinkerbell, but more mature, like Amy Brown's works.
Mythology of all sorts-I always love a good story. Ancient ones of gods, goddesses, immortal step-children, dragons, monsters, cyclops, sirens, heroes, and magick always spark my interest.
Fantasy artwork-it just reaches out to me, especially when filled with emotion.
Seeing elderly couples holding hands- the ultimate terrestrial display of eternal love.. It gives hopes to romantics such as myself when it seems every other marriage I hear of goes down in divorce.
It proves the point made in The Crow: "Real Love is Forever"
 Society as a whole- It seems everyone focuses on outer beauty, praising stupidity and deplorable behaviors, screwing others over(and betraying) for personal gain, and badmouthing. Unfortunately, the "MTV generation" has me surrounded.. My easily triggered anger- as an Aquarius, my emotions are constantly swirling like water, free-flowing, unrestrained, and disorderly. A lot of times the slightest thing can set me off. My own paranoia- I have a hard time trusting people. Is it paranoia, or my mind protecting me due to people in the past betraying me? I don't know, so I follow my instinct to be wary of everyone. Cheaters- in my opinion, the ultimate betrayal isn't against family or country, its against that one person who put all their trust in you, gave their heart to you, let their guard down for you, and loved you with all they were. Cheating sickens me. Abortion- murder is murder, and the easy way out is typically the wrong way out.*see 'Beliefs' section* Liars- if you're lying to me, you're basically sending out the message that I'm stupid and won't figure you out. Hypocrites- it's really funny how people can be fervently against something, or ridicule others for doing something, and yet they often are doing the same, if not worse, things secretly. Shedding of innocent blood- nothing says 'cowardice' like hurting those weaker than you, or those that don't deserve it. I believe in Karma though, what goes around comes around. Child/animal abusers/molesters- see above. Rush Limbaugh- I can't stand that fat, arrogant, self-righteous asshole. He's a horrible person. He's a racist, chauvinistic, close-minded fool, and all of his followers are even bigger fools. End of story. Hugh Hefner- A slime bag who has made millions in exchange for exploiting the sacred bodies of women. He's scum and I honestly wish more feminists would use him as target practice. For that matter, I hate the Playboy Corporation along with 80% of other porn corporations. It isn�t because I don�t like sex or sexuality (within moderation), but because I don�t like how my fellow females are being brainwashed into servitude. I specify Playboy because I have researched them recently. It promotes the de-humanization of women by renaming them �bunnies�, which allows them to be objectified without guilt of harming another human being. According to Catharine Mackinnon�s �'More Than Simply a Magazine�: Playboy�s Money,� a former worker for playboy, Miki Garcia, confessed that bunnies often faced � alienation from family, friends, and religious practices, sexual exploitation and harassment, job discrimination, rape, mental�date rape, too, by the way�mental and physical abuse, murder and attempted murder, illegal drug abuse, attempted suicide, prostitution, unwanted pregnancies, abortions, venereal diseases, [and] unnecessary cosmetic surgery.� It is also stated by experts that �Penthouse and Hustler, with which Playboy competes, tend to be more, and increasingly violent...Playboy will lose its market if it doesn�t get more overtly violent. This is because it, with the rest of the pornography market, is creating a population of increasingly desensitized consumers. Explicit sex, after a while, puts men to sleep. It takes increasingly explicit violation, meaning violence, to wake them up, erotically speaking." Industries like this do not promote the natural beauty of the female body, but a fake, disgusting, expensive, and next to impossible standard of synthetic, artificial �beauty.� Here�s some food for thought, before pictures are airbrushed for Playboy, any imperfections, acne, cellulite, are circled in red and labeled �KILL.� An instructor of mine had a friend who worked in the department of editing for Playboy and had to quit due to how disturbing it was to be in a room for hours at a time with pictures of naked women with the words �KILL,� �KILL,� �KILL� written all over them. If one guy uses you for your body, it�s unacceptable- so why would a big corporation using you for your body�for profit� be any different? Sure, the Playboy Foundation boasts that it gives money to feminists, but it�s in a similar ratio of that which a pimp gives to a prostitute. Playboy needs feminists to keep up appearances and whitewash its underlying sexism. As for me, my sexuality is like my soul, my dignity, my freedom. I will not sell it. Though I may share it with some, in the end, it will forever remain mine. Starbucks- Corporate fat cats only becoming richer while farmers in Africa struggle just to live because the Starbucks Corporation pays them a cent for every dollar they make. Not to mention, it's rather ignorant to spent $6+ dollars on a tiny cup of coffee. And will someone tell me what's up with their snotty, pseudo-intellectual, hipster atmosphere?? Girls that posted their breasts to get free premium memberships- MY GOD- can you say pathetic? Exposing yourself for a theoretical item that only exists in cyberspace and will only last for a year? What, do you give blow jobs for PBJ sandwiches, too? Sheesh, grow some self respect. Yes, the nude female body is beautiful, few things are more beautiful, but scribbling a website address on yourself and posting pictures all over the internet is not artistic- its just trashy. As Ariel Levy said in her book Female Chauvinist Pigs , "'Raunchy� and �liberated� are not synonymous.� And remember~ 'a picture lasts forever.'
On that note, lipstick feminism-
I can't think of a more ludicrous oxymoron."Dammit, I'm going to make you respect me, even if I have to be on my knees all night!" Do you really think men will see you as an equal if you over-sexualize and objectify yourself for their attention?
Men..
that prefer the company of their video games to that of their loving girlfriends.
People who make themselves victims-
I feel little-to-no pity for these people..such as women who get beaten but return to their abusers out of "love," or stupid people who don't read the warning on MTV'sJackass and end up hospitalized.
People who lead miserable lives...
Yet try to tell everyone else around them how to live and "what they should do" and "what they ought to do" and "what they need to do."
People who tell thin women to eat-
They're being just as rude and obnoxious as people who tell fuller figured women to diet. Mind your own business! Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.
Most People-
as negative as it sounds, it's true. Just look at the news. We're not a pure or 'mostly good' race, not by a long shot. I guess you could tie this in to my dislike of the media and social norms. Anymore I have very little faith in the goodness of humanity/mankind, so please someone prove me wrong. Some days it's all too easy to have faith in nothing, not even science, which is also an ever-changing invention of mankind. At one time 'science' considered the earth was at the center of the universe, that maggots were the offspring of rotten meat, and that during menstruation women's wombs would wander around their bodies. Even the great Charles Darwin claimed that women and blacks were different/lesser species all together.
Worry-
seems to run my life some days.
The controlled media and controlling government-
all TV, and a good chunk of the internet is controlled by the same people. They decide what you see and don't see. The Liberals say it's the Conservatives; the Conservatives say it's the Liberals. My theory, they're all in it together. There is no Liberal side and Conservative side- just the government side and the common man side. They see themselves as the sheep dogs, the citizens as the sheep, and those who oppose the government as the wolves. This is exactly what they told my brother when he enrolled in the police academy. *If you're bad at following, yes, I just said my brother is a cop.*
Most of the fakes that hang around in the Hot Topic-
I get so annoyed with all the emo and scene kids, and Mansonites claiming "My black is blacker than your black. HAIL SATAN!!" Grow up, seriously..Furthermore, Hot Topic clothing is tacky and overpriced anyway.
People who try to change me-
there's rarely a person I know who hasn't tried. Relatives have called me anything from Morticia Addams to Elvira (both of which I take as compliments instead); I've been told by nearly everyone to smile more, and most people want me to change my wardrobe to "brighter, normal-looking clothing".
Those who ask too many questions-
if you really need to know something, it will come to you.
People who judge me-
I don't like being scrutinized and criticized.. we're all human. However, I don't really like to be fawned over either, so if you read this, and are going to leave me a comment, please don't try to suck up to me.
Waiting-
one of the biggest time consumers of my life it seems. Hence, I do not like to be idle. I always have to be doing something to keep my body and mind busy to some extent.
Lemon candies (except lemon heads)-
I just don't like them. End of story.
Ignorance-
it seems to make the world go 'round. It's even worse when people act on ignorance. I'm almost at a loss for words when it comes to ignorant people acting out.
Those who want my pity-
life sucks for everyone. That's a big life lesson everyone needs to learn sooner or later. Don't tell me about your hardships, I'm not going to feel sorry for you. I'll tell you my life story, and you'll probably end up in tears.
Forgetting things-
it eats at my insides slowly when I've misplaced something, or forgotten about something important, especially since I've been told a few times that I have a pretty impressive memory.
People who overreact on petty things..-
I seem to always be around these people. Fate's funny like that. My mother's one of them. Most of the sheltered, snotty students I had to grow up with in school were like that; hell, my ex-best friend was one of the worst.
People who brag about being promiscuous whores-
Those disease carriers sicken me. They haven't a skill in the world, so instead of doing something about it, and actually accomplishing something, they just lie on their backs. Most of these whores have wrecked countless marriages and relationships. I've no respect for whores, especially those that brag about it.
Fan girls/groupies-
they annoy me to no end. They completely ignore the quality of music, oft times, pretty good, because their hormones have them confused, and they confuse lust with appreciation for musical talent. 'Look! He's hot..well, other girls want to fuck him, so he must be hot! I wanna fuck him too! I guess I should buy his music too now.'~13 year old fan girl. I'm almost ashamed to say I'm a HIM fan, for instance, because I don't want to be mistaken for a mindless fan girl.
Type-speak-
If you think you're smart enough to be allowed on the internet, don't make yourself look ignorant and illiterate. TYPE PROPERLY. WRITE PROPERLY. I'm not annoyed with slang or less-than-perfect grammar, I just get annoyed with people too lazy to type out full words, which make people have to guess what the hell they mean. If it doesn't matter enough for you to type it correctly, then it's not important enough for me to waste time reading.
Type speak is evidence enough for me to say the internet is dumbing down this generation..
basically anything on the rock spectrum really..just ask me.
1. SOAD 2.NIN 3.HIM 4.Tool 5. Metallica...
but I also like melancholy and macabre sounding classical, sometimes even opera.
(at first this was in alphabetical..then..yeah.. ^_^')
Voltaire.
Muse.
Emilie Autumn.
Beethoven, Bach, Mozart (the big 3!)
VNV Nation
And One
The Birthday Massacre
The 69 Eyes.
Adema.
AFI {the old stuff}.
Blaqk Audio.
Anti-Flag.
A Perfect Circle.
Apocalyptica.
Atreyu.
Audioslave.
Breaking Benjamin.
Johnny Cash.
James D. Stark
Crossfade.
The Cure.
Deadstar Assembly
Demonika and the Darklings
Devil Driver.
Dir en Grey.
Disturbed.
Evanescence.
Faith No More
Foo Fighters.
Godsmack.
OLD Green Day.
HIM.
Incubus.
Inkkubus Sukkubus
Iesbrecher.
Kittie
Korn.
Lacuna Coil
L'ame Imortelle
Linkin Park (again, the OLD stuff).
Malice Mizer.
Metallica.
Nine Inch Nails.
Nirvana.
Novembre.
Orgy.
P.O.D.
Poisonblack.
Tiamat
Xp8
Unshine
Rammstein
System of a Down.
Three Days Grace.
The White Stripes.
Zeromancer.
Slipknot.
Stone Sour.
Soungarden.
Tool.
Chevelle.
NIN.
Mudvayne.
Drowning Pool
The White Stripes
Gorillaz.
The Blur.
The Offspring.
Static X.
Radiohead.
Saliva.
Staind.
Stone Temple Pilots.
Alice in Chains.
Lit.
Velvet Revolver.
Jane's Addiction.
Queens of the Stoneage.
Megadeath.
Hatebreed.
Rob Zombie.
Danzig.
White Zombie.
Smile Empty Soul.
Shinedown.
Smashing Pumpkins.
Seether.
Slayer
Tom Petty
Those are the biggest pieces of my soul but there are really are many, many,
many more things that make me tick. These were only iceberg-peaks
of who I really am. Getting to know what lies beneath my
icy exterior takes years. Feel free to message me and just
say 'hi'. I'm typically friendly, and only a bitch when
someone's out of line.
Please keep in mind that this profile is not me.
It is merely a representation of how
I wish to be perceived.
I would not mind making more friends here,
as long as they have intelligent things to say.
I never expect to become Featured Member
on this site because I am quite unapologetic when
I voice my thoughts on issues and I never state them tactfully.
I can't help it if I'm the only one that will admit
that the king is not wearing any clothing.
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Various Links
My AMAZING Lover
My Father RIP
My Diary
Deviant Art Page
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I've grown ever-so tired of random horny douche bags 'collecting' me onto their friends lists with the click of a button.
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