This is the official page of my monologging. It is here that I shall tell you events of my life, as well as philosophize with you that which is in need of philosophy. What needs philosophy? Everything that does not have it. There. I just philosophized my journal. One down.
I feel like no one listens to me anymore. Maybe it's just because I'm too emo and depressed all the time. Or maybe they really aren't my friends. Whatever. I'm also depressed because of my sister. My birthday is in a few days, and instead of coming to see me, she sends me a fucking card. Same thing with my mother, whose birthday is a week before mine. Should I explain this? Why not. Nobody will read this anyway. My sister basically blamed me and my mother and my brother for her attempted suicides. I doubt she ever actually did try them. But her best friend, who is an altogether bad influence, takes her to the college counselor. Not once does she ever try to actually confront any of us and say she can't deal with us. Or at least me. I know she hates my brother, everyone does. She's never been close to me mother, neither have I. But I thought we were really close, but I was apparently mistaken. Anyway. This best friend's mother doesn't even act like an adult. She won't get a job, she's on welfare because she's lazy, abandoned one of her other daughters from an affair, and now my sister basically ran out of the house to go live with them. Then had the nerve to ask us to pack her stuff for her. Then she came to get it all and packed more of it. Now, the best friend just left for college. I think here, I should mention that my sister is two years older than the best friend. And she can't go to college because she's not getting any more scholarships because she basically failed two years. Now the best friend is gone, so my sister decides to stay with the mother of said best friend. I saw her at Wal-Mart, and she seems quite happy. She promised to go to the final Harry Potter movie with me, and she failed to do that. I think the thing that bugs me the most is not that she did all this, not that she seems happier without me, and not even that she won't even come see me on my birthday. The thing that bugs me is that her voice changed. Not pitch or anything, but it sounds all sweet and innocent now. It's probably because she's happy to finally get away from my family.
I dunno. I guess I should be over it. It happened months ago. But even if I tell people, you can't really understand. Even if your siblings don't like you, none of them have ever ran out on you, blamed you for their attempted suicides, and then not even faced you on your birthday.
Whatever. I'm sick of crying about it. It's not gonna stop, because every time I think about it I cry. And I think about it a lot. Great. Now I'm crying. Whoever made those puffs tissues is my hero. Mood: depressed. I'm crying. Music: Don't Jump - Tokio Hotel
Ahh, so many things to write about, but I'll keep it simple. For now.
Firstly, I may have found the best plant ever. Second, I freaking love laundromats. Third, I've become addicted to this iPod. It's just so convenient, I can't help it! Fourth, I've reached a new level of pure unfiltered rage. It happened when I thought I missed the trash pickup this morning. Fifth, I now have to retrain my cat to use the litter box -_- Sixth, I cannot wait for school. Seventh, I may get another job. Kewl. Eighth, I found a new band called vampires everywhere. Yes it's a screamo band, yes it's actually about vampires. Deal.
Not that anyone actually cares about my online rants. Because ranting online is SO not hipster. Mood: Pretty chill, for once. Music: Silver and cold - AFI
Literally. NO ONE uses this site. No one I know, anyway, except SerraJade. And to anyone who might see this, I'm begging you, STAY AWAY FROM EVERCLEAR. That shit can fucking kill you. I'm not joking. I know you're gonna try it anyway, so at least practice moderation. Please.
SerraJade, I don't know how many times I can tell you. I'd have nothing left to live for if you died. Yes I know it sounds emo and dramatic, but stfu.
Gaiz and Galz, if you're gonna drink, make sure there's someone at least half sober to keep you alive if you go overboard. And trust me. Even if you think you won't go overboard, you fucking will.
I don't care if I sound stupid and preachy. Mood: Glad my friends are alive and well. Music: Nuffin, lololol.
You know what? Since no one uses this site, im gonna say it. I fucking hate arabic camp. Im not joking. All the people here are bitchy and i just dont care. The language is a serious pain in the ass. Im supposed to do a project, and i cant figure out how to use the program for it. AND HOLY SHIT I HATE THIS FUCKING IPOD. Everyone is like ooohh ipods!!! FUCK OFF. SERIOUSLY.
The worst part is just the people. Most of them are cool, but a select few id just love to push off a cliff. Ohmigod dakota, youre boyfriend is paranoid because you told him you were in another guys room for a couple hours. Not to mention his ex did the same thing but instead fucked the guy. Id be pretty damn paranoid too. So you break up with him. Bitch. And yes, i understand your little miss wyoming or some shit. I get it. Really. YOU DONT NEED TO FUCKING FLAUNT IT. Oh, you dont like my makeup? Stfu. No one asked you
MAGICAL JEEBUS TITS I FUCKING HATE THIS GOTHDAMN IPOD.
In other news, i got a book of quran.
Mood: Pissed. Music: Some creepy religious arabian shit
I just realized that no one ever gets on this site anymore. It's all about facebook. FUCKING FACEBOOK MAN. FACEBOOK RUINS EVERYTHING.
I don't think people really understand where I'm coming from when I say that.
I tell them that it's stealing their soul and making them all into drama filled poppycock spreading depressed little buggers, and no one listens to me.
I think what I hate most about facebook is the level of intimacy it tricks you into. You're all like, "hey it's on facebook, if its in a message no one will see it" "no one will see my chat" "ima say something meaningful on facebook to show people that there's more to me"
Good intentions, but mislead. Of course people are going to see it. You'll show someone. They'll show someone else. The other person will tell people. People will get on your computer and onto your facebook and read your chat messages. And posting meaningful things all the time makes you seem like an emo twat. Also, it makes you seem like a totally different person on facebook.
AND DEAR GANACHE ALL THE MUTHAFUCKING DRAMA.
So much fucking shit has happened on facebook because people are too chickenshit to say it face to face. What ever happened to communication? And what the hell is with text talk, or the type that uses numbers instead of letters? I understand LOL, WTF, BRB, etc. But really? 2moro, watev, 8te, THE FUCK.
And then what the hell is with keeping secrets on facebook?
I'll tell ya a secret.
C'mere.
Little closer.
Bit more.
Guess what?
I'M GONNA FUCKING FIND OUT WHAT YOU REALLY DO WHEN YOU LIE TO ME. I'M GONNA FUCKING FIND OUT WHAT YOU REALLY THINK OF ME.
Okay, enough of that. This isn't really directed at one person in particular, although it pertains specifically well to one person, but in general this is directed to the surrounding public.
Just thought I should get that off my chest.
Mood: Well I'm kinda pissed, and pretty damn depressed. Music: Numbers - Pompeii (an amazing song)
