"What are you talking about? Where you came from... is gone; where you thought you were going to... weren't never there; and where you are... ain't no good unless you can can get away from it...."
i think i have my first real-life investor. its awkward putting this in here but really i'm just happy to have an entry NOT bitching about something or someone that's pissed me off. anyways, suddenly, life just might get wayyyy less slamming-my-face-in-the-concrete-able.
the thing is, they want to help toward the dj'in/production/etc nonsense. i'm flattered that they think this, but realistically deep down i want to say 'can ya invest in my project 2 or so yrs from now instead, which will be opening my own business (i've come to the conclusion that i absolutely have to be my own boss. fuck your ladder, i'm not climbing it; i'll build my own) in georgia or florida very similar to mary jo-s cloth store?' would seem a bit more financially worthwhile and long-termedly secure and significantly less epic fail proof. oh well. i'm not about to possibly piss off anyone who wants to help me out so gratuitously. because something like this has never happened to me before.
So over the "You're my property, anything you do belongs to me, you work with us and no one else" blah blah blah, mentality. This territorial shit is ridiculous. For one, I have not been, nor will I ever be exclusive to anyone or anything. If the slim chance of that ever DID happen, you're going to have to pay me a ridiculous amount, IE what money I would normally be making with other people, plus double that because your motives behind exclusivity are only self-serving and stupid, and in all reality will probably be hindering me STILL in the long term if I DID accept such a request. Don't act like I don't understand your subliminal agendas. I have subliminal agendas of my own, ya know.
&&& LOL at people getting butthurt because I DO work with other people. Well sir/ma'am, ya didn't ASK for my involvement; NTM I get the vibe of not being 'turtely' enough for the 'turtle club' anyways, so please drop the butthurt for my rouge-ish behavior when I am, go figure, treated as rouge. Why would I act any differently? And why on earth would I turn down gratuitous amounts of cash for minimal expenses, effort, plus it's something I ENJOY doing. So plz, get over the fact that I'm not going to be crawling up your butthole trying to be on your side or team or whatever, I work best by myself until proven otherwise or given reason to believe different (and so far... guess what, I'm right!) - and that's just what works for me, so that's how it is.
I met a real life 'magician' today. I hate using that word though because now it's been lumped with 'phony/fake/trickery' etc.
I watched this guy bend a fork right before my eyes in all different directions. It was a restaurant fork. I saw the bartender hand it to him. When he asked me to think of a number, before he even asked me to think of a number I saw the number 316 flashing in front of my mind clear as day. Sure enough it was number 316. He also knew the nickname of my favorite chemical. (it's not a common chemical) And exactly how much change was in my pocket. During the process of bending the fork, he asked me to hold it for part of the time. I had never really felt energy before. I mean I kind of felt it other times, but I always thought it was 'placebo' effect. No this time I actually felt it. My arm was actually tense for a good half an hr afterward. But the fork which he channeled through my arm was definitely bent. I've kept the fork o_O;
Idk, I always thought that kind of stuff was mostly bogus. And that the people that 'preach' they 'know all about it' are full of their self and don't even know what the hell they are talking about. But this was the first time I saw something concrete within my own eyes. Oh yeah and we tried to record this stuff on camera. Of course the cameras malfunctioned.
I wish I could have asked him how things will turn out. Ya know, stuff. Will I ever find something I excel in? There's so many things I can do that are 'above' average. But that doesn't cut it for me (and really, I don't think above average cuts it for everyone else, either) - I want excellent. And then I want peace. Some kind of contentment, and rest. I mean obviously you can't give specifics because that would distort this whole space time continuum. Then I wonder if I should even think about those kind of questions. Everything just seems so ultimately unsteady. Because I don't even know if I could handle the real answers.
