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Wow
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January 07, 2012, 10:53:am
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Time has flown by.
March 3 i get married. Buying a home soon. Starting a family. And yet i never thought i would be here back than. When i first joined the site it was with my bestie back than Brittany. And i met Matt. Me and him hit it off. We got on Yahoo chatted there. And after he was hospitalized and a few years down the road. We made it to calling each other. He was the reason i stayed on the site back than. And it got to the point were i didnt think i would live to be 17. Here i am at 20 years old. Gonna be married before 21 and hopefully by than have a kid on the way. I never thought that id be here today. And sometimes i still wonder why i am. But than i look at the man thats stuck by me all this time. Thats made sure i stopped self harming. Which i have been over a year clean. I dont starve myself anymore either and he makes sure of that. Hes got me through a lot of things. But i still have my amazing friends from LMKA. and the people from Score. Which was just. Bryan and Jay but still. Back than was easier than it is now. Now instead of worrying about inviting people and stopping drama and running cults and keeping staff members in check. Lifes all about bills that need to be paid shitty ass landlords that have a stick so far up there ass that they need a reality check. And or some to kick there ass. But no seriously he does. Now being a grown up sucks balls. Even though im still a kid on the inside. I have to act responsible now. well at least 5%. Since i think my family has figured it out that im never gonna grow up. I still play video games play with toys. (Legos) and i still wanna have fun with life. I dont wanna have a career that keeps me away from the things i love. But i do wish that i could still go back in time to when VF was popular. and have thousands of people online at a time. were id stay up all night chatting to amazing people all night. Were people dont die. and my brothers dad isnt in prison. Were i still thought my dad actually loved me. and before i took my brother in and put a roof over his head a bed for him to sleep in and food in his stomach. Till i found out during that time he stole from me and steffon. and took money from our much hated roommate. Which is besides the point. Why steal from the only person that let you live with them when your own father refused to let you come back home. And than not get a job to support yourself and help out.
Though i wanna go back to the good old days. I dont wanna lose Steffon. But maybe than i would still know what i do now. And ask him out before amber did and cause on those problems. Though those problems maybe helped us become closer. since we had 3 years of friendship before dating so maybe that helped us. idk.
I just miss you guys. : )
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