And I've fucked a sheep And I've fucked a goat I've had my cock right down its throat So what, so what So what, so what you boring little cunt Well who cares, who cares what you do Who cares, who cares about you
You would have been 23 years old today. We celebrated for you. Pathetic attempt, i know. Wish you were here to blow out candles on a cake. Smile with us. I wish i could just hug you one more time. Say a formal goodbye. I wish i could take your place. You didnt deserve what happened. Its not fair. You should have never been taken away. You were meant to live a long happy life and you would have if you were still here. Life is fragile and taken for granted. Those close to death appreciate it. I just ant to be next to you. Safe from harm. Safe from this world.
Rest in peace beautiful girl. You will never be forgotten. You will never be replaced. I love you.
ive never felt so low i wish i could quit drinking but i just cant stop. i wish i wasnt addicted to pills but i cant stop. im breaking things and people. hurting myself. i say all these horrible things about my mom and to her face. she may only be able to be truthful with me through text but its enough. ive been an awful daughter and in a few months she will be moved far away and i dont know when i will see her. i feel so stupid and mad at myself.
she told me i saved her life when she had me...but i know i ruined it as i got older. its my fault.
nothing is making this pain go away.how could i be so shitty. she cant express how sshe feels about me and i take it as her hating me. im so stupid.
I am just a worthless liar. I am just an imbecile. I will only complicate you. Trust in me and fall as well. I will find a center in you. I will chew it up and leave, I will work to elevate you just enough to bring you down.
i do not know if saying "i am trapped" would be appropriate. i could get in my car and go as far as that piece of shit will take me. but then what? i am still alone. in a place i do not know. this is not a home. its like they are doing charity work letting me sleep on the couch....when i am her daughter. i can not eat unless they say it is okay. her only advice "avoid those streets where the cops patrol when you are driving drunk" thanks, mom. i do. so i can come to this place. i hide in the garage. i write how i feel because i am scared to let anyone know. i watch the pillow i sit on get dirty from blood every night. i wonder if she knows. she is getting me tested for types of shit. technically i am an adult. why not treat me better? love me. its always been this way. take away my beds. gang up on me with my sister because you two are such great fucking friends. she loves her more even when my sister is yelling cunt in her face. i just stay away. i do not know what else to do. why will no one love me? listen to me? hug me?
probably wondering "dumb bitch, you just said you don't want anyone to know" well who the fuck reads this? i am the only one who sees it. i don't fucking care. i just want out of this fog.
it should have been me. i should have wrapped my car around that pillar. all these beautiful, loving and loved girls keep dying. take me instead. i do not want pity. do not give me advice. there is nothing to say. i was happy once. then he hit me and it was over. i am drained. i am tired. i guess there is something wrong with me if i am so sad all the time. things can always be worse, i know. there's human trafficking and starvation. war and murder. abuse of all kinds. i just feel pain for no reason. its becoming a physical pain again. i feel it in my chest. why? i want to know why. why am i hurting? why do i feel so alone? why will it not stop? i need someone to shake me. so hard it all goes away.
i need someone to take my mind off of it. this is just stupid and ridiculous.
