Sorry I haven't posted alot in the past few months. For the most part I haven't had alot to say.
But here is what has been happening in my life summed up. The last 2 months I have been working like a mad man in order to have enough cash to pay for x mas for my family. Since everyone was broke I said I'd do it. I told them I didn't care if I didn't get anything.
I think my family was happy I did it and I did get some real cool things. I got a very nice Poet shirt and I got Bill Mahers new book. "which if you haven't read it you should."
So how was everyone else xmas? what did you get and what are you hopes and dreams for new years?
So everyone 2012 is coming so I'm cleaning out my friendlist. So if you wanna stay on it please start talking to me also if you wanna chat with me on msn please give it to me.
Moments passed without you. Each one felt like milleniums. Your presence's made my cold dead heart the kiss of life. Feelings long dormant how running free.
Anger, Frustration, Saddness, Fear, Lust, Love.
Anger. For the pains of the past.
Frustration for the fact you are who I want and your just beyond my touch.
Saddness. For every moment without. Lying in bed without dreaming of your kiss.
Fear, For that maybe I'm a fool that you don't have these feeling for me.
Lust. For how you body drive me wild.
Love. For how I know its more then lust and knowing that I could love you.
I will give you my heart as long you swear not to break it.
All of this I will seal with a kisses.
dedicated to a special someone. Mood: good Music: none
well as you may or may not know my laptop died 2 months ago. I have missed you all but now I'M BACK....So I can't wait tos ee you all on. Mood: Happyish
How are you all? Right now I'm sick in bed so I felt it was a good time to write a post.”Yes, Vampyres get sick. I wish we didn't thou” So in a way a lot has happened to but at the sometime nothing has happened. I will say after I got back and the wounds I took from Monica dumping had somewhat healed. ”They haven't fully yet and I don't think they ever will.”
I know its sad but I kinda fell back into my old ways. I asked two friends to find me a new Girlfriend thinking it would end my yourning for Monica."As I now believe I can't find the right person myself"
One is trying her best to help me and this won't be forgotten but the other just snapped at me refusing ”Oh find your own. I can't find your soul mate. which is funny to say becauseI don't think I have one.I'm just looking for someone who dump my ass after the read get ruff ”. It shows me what “some” friends are for.
But anyways. In the past two months I set forward to get my life back. But as I hit the ground running it would seem I have run into a brick wall.
I feel as thou my life has come to a hult like it has in Calgary and I really have no idea what to do. Right now I'm very broke and it limits what I can do. But I know I could do something. As of late I have been stuck indoors watching the world go by. Partly due to the sunny and hot days the other is the lack of money. Its really depresses the hell out of me. I have been fighting off the sadness for sometime and as a result I have a short fuse. At more then a few Momentarily losses of judgment I have snapped at Mom and my brother among others. It makes me feel so back because of my actions.
I have started to wonder if this is Karma telling me something. I just wish I knew what it was. It seems like I'm always making up for one thing or another.
Well everyone this is a short post its 547 am and it raining outside thing I might take a walk. I will try to have as many gaps between posts.
Love you all and with you here.
OKtober. Mood: That drugged up mood. Music: Queen of the damned soundtrack.
