"Miserableness is like a small germ I've had inside me as long as I can remember, and sometimes it starts wriggling." - Greene
Status: But would I be a good Messiah with my low self-esteem? If I don't believe in myself would that be blasphemy?
Sex: female Age: 21 Location: easton,
Pennsylvania, United States
Member since: July 31, 2011 Account: Premium Member Orientation: Bisexual Status: In a relationship Occupation: home health
As Alice stumbled through the daze, so am I, seeping into this fissure. Languidly, liquidly it seems, I am splattering drop by frantic drop, into a crevice of such familiarity, that anxiety finds little company in me. My warm, rotting disease; I cradle it close. The revelation of the falsehood of this pastel hell, the irrelevance of this demoralizing lightshow, left me desensitized and pale. Senses are fleeting, and rightfully so, for I find little use in them; faint conviction. As for these passions, these fevers which provide a vital mental conductant, I am recepting in the best of hopes. For health acts as a cautering to the nerves, resulting in obstruction of the upmost severe nature. Although an assured invite to insanity, there is a clarity to be found in sickness; a true act of prevailence, it seems. So it goes, I find this plummet from a seemingly efficient self soveriegn more severe an influence in my abnormality, than the force of impact, for the sensation failed to register complete; this rare state holds no refuge for reality, or its reasonings. And so the concepts of vacancy are all which satiete me. In younger years the concept of hopelessness was lost upon me. Now, I couldn't pick a more clever word...Tell me, if there is no prayer of awakening, when the dream itself is the sole remnant, can interaction be sanctioned? Can it be justified in its offensive uselessness. Inevitably, I need to believe in some form of love, some velocity, or any small thing of beauty. For I fear the softer shades of the pitch, the virulent consuming pains of this hideous state of vitality I seem to be lingering within. Ultimately, I am alone and waiting, a constant funeral of the nothing this realm holds for me.
Likes
early industrial,deathrock and victoriandustrial; emilie autumn,rozz williams, andi sexgang, OHgr. early victorian and romantic literature: Goethe, Byron, Rousseau,Wilde, local cemeteries, coffee with extra cream, weed, steamrollers, bongs, old bnw films, old vincent price movies, and history documentaries. i like to talk the hours away, which i'm fully capable of. pinups, velvet, guro lolita, gothabilly, horror, zombies, poe, kneehigh boots, halloween, d.i.y., mosuleaums,costume shops, SMART girls,iron gates,striped tights, deathrockers and their wonderful hairstyles, old school gothic, mortuary sciences, vintage. kickboxing is fun, autumn, i've yet to meet a wine i don't agree with, bars where people leave me the fuck alone.
Dislikes
head traumas by guns. they freak me out. badbadbad. people who cut me off and don't even realize it, people who are too quiet, snow, new england, pillheads, liars, bigots, spiders,those who cannot respond to intelect accordingly, almost everyone i know from highschool, EVERYONE from beauty school,thoe who cramp my style, those who consider me cliche; i couldn't give a fuck less, stop wasting my time and your effort, i am how i am and i rather enjoy it.
Favorite Music
skinny puppy,christian death,emilie autumn,front 242, rammstein, attrition, birthday party, cadillacs and cadavers,clock dva,depeche mode,david bowie,roxy music, lazy lane, sisters of mercy,alien sex fiend,bauhaus, joy division, 45 grave, mercy killers,the meteors,psycho charger, vampire beach babes,specimen, astrovamps,love and rockets,smashing pumpkins,the coffinshakers,creature feature, msi, icp, rasputina, nin, black roses peotry and death,sexgang children,horrorpops, the creepshow, mephisto waltz, siouxsie and the banshees, primus, psychodelic furs,nick cave and the bad seeds, the twilight garden, frontline assembly, my chemical romance,queens of the stone age, the legendary pink dots, the beatles,voltaire, the breeders, alien tempo experiment 13, kelley deal 6000, bella morte. i also like a lot of 50's and 60's poprock and motown harmonies. like, a lot.
I thought it would be nice to engage in one of those odd philosophical discussions with you after months of silence. Figured I wanted to be enlightened by your unique standpoint in the world. If you'r interested you should chat me up sometime!
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