Nearly four years ago, our beloved founder, Fink, found herself participating in the National Day of Silence, at fifteen years of age. That day changed her world completely.
She was a freshman in high school, identified as straight and was participating to support her GLBTQA friends and family. Being a quiet girl, she figured she'd be overlooked and nothing would be any different than any other day.
On April 26, 2006, Fink went to school with her GSA Day of Silence button pinned on and her mouth closed tightly.
She had no idea what she was getting herself into, but she was about to find out.
That day was by far the worst of her young life; She had never gotten so much negative attention at once. She had never really gone against the crowd before, and she wasn't used to the backlash she received. The same words she'd heard and ignored the day before had become inescapable for her. She finally understood what it felt like to be harassed for being herself, and she hated that she was powerless to stop it.
But she was determined to try.
Fink was never the same again. She no longer wanted to follow the crowd, or be quiet about what she knew was right. She wanted to speak out, be heard and help everyone else who wanted to be heard as well.
It was then that she adopted the name 'Fink' and began setting up a profile and group on Myspace that would speak up for those who, like herself, had been SpokenAgainst.
She began the painstaking process of making SpokenAgainst grow and flourish on her fifteenth birthday.
As SpokenAgainst began to grow on Myspace, so did the number of people who needed her help, and she was always willing to lend a hand to them all. Sometimes it was finding the right answers to their questions, sometimes it was educating people and helping them to accept their GLBTQ friends and family, sometimes it was just being a willing shoulder to cry on and an ear that would listen. Sometimes Fink has had to talk to people who are against her GLBTQ friends and sometimes she has to give advice on where to go for more help.
She has even talked people out of suicide through Myspace.
Fink has talked to hundreds and hundreds of people, who have all told her how much she has touched their lives, and she is proud to say the same about them.
It has been three years since SpokenAgainst's inception, and we've had our share of rough spots, but at least here on VF, we are not going anywhere for a very long time.
I'm not Fink, I'm a close personal friend of hers, and I have been a part of her dedicated SpokenAgainst team for nearly three years now. I run us here on VampireFreaks, and I couldn't be prouder of or feel more honored to carry on SpokenAgainst for Fink.
SpokenAgainst has touched the lives of countless individuals, and has taught its members that to be heard, all you need to do is keep talking, eventually someone will listen to you, and be true to yourself and those around you, and you'll succeed.
It's time the SpokenAgainst speak up!
Rules
Respect all SpokenAgainst members.
No sex threads unless health-related.
Post threads in the proper Board.
Respect Staff. Do as told. Members who present a constant problem and are disrespectful and/or break multiple cult rules will be removed, or potentially banned.
Do not use slurs of any kind.
Keep Game Threads to a minimum and do not post solely in Games.
Bullying in the Gay Community “Fag”, “dyke”, “carpet muncher”, “queer” though these may be just words to you, these words have a lasting, and damaging effect on the people of the gay and lesbian community. Hearing these words everyday, maybe even multiple times per day can cause more damage than people realize. There are so many effects from bullying that some people just do not understand, and, to some, may never fully understand. You never know how your words can make another one feel. “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me” was a very popular children’s rhyme. Words can have a larger effect than sticks and stones ever did. A broken bone can heal and no one would ever know it was there, but the invisible mark of a mean word can leave a lasting impression on a vulnerable mind for many years to come. According to the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgendered (GLBT) Youth Support Project (2006), “gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered students hear anti-gay slurs about 26 times per day.” Almost 160,000 students skip school every day because they are scared that they’ll be bullied (quoted in Facts about Bullying and Gay Youth, 2006). There are three main areas that are affected on GLBT students; their mental and physical health and their education. People who are bullied, according to the GLBT Youth Support Project, are at a higher risk of getting sick, getting a sore throat, not eating, and night walking. According to Mental Health America, GLBT youth mental health is affected in two ways. The first is that they are under a lot of stress due to the narrow-mindedness that comes with the GLBT life. It has nothing to do with the fact that they are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered. The second part is that GLBT youth are “two to three times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual counterparts” (Factsheet: Bullying and Gay Youth, 2009). The third and most obvious area is education. These students are often subject to the most intense bullying that they have trouble concentrating in class, thus creating inadequate education. GLBT students have a drop-out rate of 28%, which is pretty large in my opinion (Facts about Bullying and Gay Youth, 2006). So, I’ve talked about plenty of numbers and consequences of bullying, but what are the reasons? There are so many reasons that someone bullies, and most of them do not even understand the kind of damage that they are inflicting on someone. Bullying happens twice as many times in school settings than in any other setting, says the GLBT Youth Support Project (Facts about Bullying and Gay Youth, 2006). So, if it happens more in schools, then why do not teachers stop it? Yes, teachers have a lot on their plates, but why ignore something that is so harmful? When a student goes to a school staff member to tell them that they are being bullied, all that happens is a little slap on the wrist. They will call the bully down and tell him that “he (or she) needs to stop.” This does not deter many bullies. In fact, it just made my bullies worse, so I gave up talking to the staff. Another reason is the lack of parental intervention. There are so many parents now days that are not doing anything. A student comes home from school and tells their parents that someone said something mean about them. What happens? Some parents will say, “Oh, grow up. You’re building character.” Then there are some who will do nothing at all. How do parents think it is okay to just ignore their child’s cry for help? Why won’t they do anything? Now, I am not saying that all parents are like this. My father went straight to the principle when I was being bullied, but many parents are just leaving it to the kids thinking that they can handle it themselves. They are just children; they need help every now and again. Another reason, and a big reason at that, is family-learned homophobia. They learn what their parents believe and take it as the truth without question. Their morals and ideals are just like their parents. This happens a lot in small towns like Laramie, Wyoming. Matthew Shepard was a small-town man. He grew up in Laramie, went to boarding school in Switzerland, moved to Denver, Colorado, then came back home to Laramie, where his life was so brutally taken. On the night of October 7, 1998, Matthew went into a local bar, the Fireside Lounge. He sat at the bar and ordered a beer, then went to the bathroom. When he went to the bathroom, two…monsters also entered, Russell Henderson and Aaron McKinney. These two people convinced Matthew that they were also gay, even though these boys were both homophobic and had learned it from their families. Once Matthew felt comfortable, these boys offered him a ride back to the University of Wyoming campus, where he was going to school. They, instead, took him out to a remote location, tied him up to a fence, and brutally beat him. On October 12, 1998, Matthew died in the hospital from his injuries. The worst part, these murderers were never even charged with a hate crime (World of Criminal Justice on Matthew Shepard, 1999). There is so much hate in this world, so many derogatory jokes, so much joking about someone, but you don’t know how bad it is until you are on that end, until you are the one being made fun of, you are the one being called a “homo” a “freak.” You know you are never going to be normal, and people love to remind you of that. Family teaches so much more than life lessons; family can also teach hate. Family can teach you hate, but they can also teach you fear. Some people fear the unknown. Some people aren’t open-minded enough to learn about something they don’t understand, they just fear it. Yes, that fear turns to anger, hate, and madness. Let’s take the murder of Brandon Teena, for instance. Brandon Teena was originally born Teena Brandon, but in his teenage years, he came out as being transgendered and started to dress as a guy. He moved to a small town just outside of Lincoln, Nebraska and lived as a man. No one suspected a thing. He fell in love with a beautiful woman, Lana Tisdale, and made friends and had fun. One night, Brandon and his friends are having a great time flying down the highway, and they eventually got a ticket. Brandon says he will pay the ticket; and when he goes to pay it, gets put in jail for a warrant against Teena Brandon. Lana and her friends find out that Brandon is anatomically a woman, and though Lana is fine with it, the rest are not. John Lotter and “Tom” Nissen decided to teach Brandon a lesson and, on Christmas night in 1993, they raped and assaulted him. Though they warned Brandon not to involve the police or they would kill him, Brandon turned them in anyways. The sheriff did not arrest the two men, but did tell them of the charges against them. On December 31, 1993, John and Tom went to Lisa Lambert’s house, where Brandon was staying, and murdered Brandon, Lisa, and Philip DeVine, a friend who had come to visit (Gabriel, 1996). The murderers never gave Brandon a chance to explain himself or anything. They never sat down and talked, they just ran on fear and anger. Once they found out, they went into a blind rage. Some people are so closed minded, and they never even try to hear something that they aren’t comfortable with. They do not want to understand it. One of the biggest problems in this country, when it comes to bullying in the gay community, is religion. These people are so apt to thinking that “God” will not like it that they hate anything that their “God” will not like. An example here would be the life of Bobby Griffith. Bobby grew up in a VERY devout Christian family. As he was growing up, he realized that he was not “normal.” He was attracted to other men, not women. Being a Christian, he believed that he was damaged, and that he was going to burn in “Hell” for his attractions. Once his family found out, they took every action possible to make him “normal” again. They got him into “gay rehabilitation” counseling, got him into church groups, and even put bible verses everywhere. It took Bobby a while to realize that he wasn’t “broken,” and he finally began to accept himself, but there was a problem. His family would not accept him as he was. On August 27, 1983, Bobby Griffith committed suicide by jumping off of a bridge into oncoming traffic (The Book and movie that religious gay-bashers have no answer for). Once his family learned of this great tragedy, his mother went into his room and found his diary. The diary was full of passages of how much he hated himself for being who he was and how much he wished his family could accept him. Mary, his mother, then went on a search for her son. She wanted to find out if she would see her son in heaven. She wasn’t sure because he was gay and also committed suicide, which are both sins. Mary went to a local church that accepted gays as they are and talked to the preacher. The preacher explained to her that things were different when the bible was written, that things have changed now. She kept to the belief that the bible says “for a man to lay down with another man is an abomination.” The preacher simply explained to her that, yes, the bible said this, but the bible also says that if a child disobeys their parents, they shall be put to death and if a woman is not a virgin on her wedding day, she shall be taken to her father’s house and stoned to death (The Book and movie that religious gay-bashers have no answer for). Of course, these are not things we take literally now days, so how can we take the idea that being gay is wrong? Bobby Griffith’s death was a tragedy created by people who think that because they read the Bible, they know exactly what God thinks. They think that no one else who has read the Bible takes it as literally as they do and, therefore, doesn’t understand God. To me, God is a forgiving and loving God. He makes every person in his image. If he didn’t want gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgenders in this world, then we wouldn’t be here right now. It is His will that we are here, and it is His love that we know. Bobby is in heaven with God right now and is happy. That is my belief. There are so many excuses to hate. There are so many things that we wish we could change, but we cannot. My last reasoning for bullying in the gay community is one that I’ve had many experiences with and, I believe that it is the worst. It is the fear of our own sexuality. It’s the fear that we’re, in some way, damaged or not right. People are scared to come out because they worry too much about what others think of them or what will be said. They think that, if they come out, they are somehow belittled, or not who they want to be. I’ve met a few people whom I call “homophobic gays.” They know they are gay, and they accept that, but they hate other gays. Maybe not all of them, maybe just the “flamers” or the “bisexuals,” but they will not accept part of their own community. To me, this is the worst part of bullying. It is our own people hurting us, and it’s so sad. Bullying in the gay community is a horrid and terrible thing. Of course, it’ll take a lot to change it; and I don’t think that certain people would ever be willing to change. There’s so much hate and pain in the world, and I don’t think that it will ever change. Yes, we do need sadness to know how good happiness is; and we need hate to know how good acceptance feels, but I don’t think that we need so much of it. It’s saddening to see so many people take their lives over their sadness. They didn’t have the strength to wait it out and see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m going to leave you with a quote from the movie Prayers for Bobby (2009), which is the movie about the life of Bobby Griffith. His mother said this at a town meeting where they were talking about a gay pride day. "Homosexuality is a sin. Homosexuals are doomed to spend eternity in hell. If they wanted to change, they could be healed of their evil ways. If they would turn away from temptation, they could be normal again if only they would try and try harder if it doesn't work. These are all the things I said to my son Bobby when I found out he was gay. When he told me he was homosexual my world fell apart. I did everything I could to cure him of his sickness. Eight months ago my son jumped off a bridge and killed himself. I deeply regret my lack of knowledge about gay and lesbian people. I see that everything I was taught and told was bigotry and de-humanizing slander. If I had investigated beyond what I was told, if I had just listened to my son when he poured his heart out to me I would not be standing here today with you filled with regret. I believe that God was pleased with Bobby's kind and loving spirit. In God's eyes kindness and love are what it's all about. I didn't know that each time I echoed eternal damnation for gay people each time I referred to Bobby as sick and perverted and a danger to our children. His self esteem and sense of worth were being destroyed. And finally his spirit broke beyond repair. It was not God's will that Bobby climbed over the side of a freeway overpass and jumped directly into the path of an eighteen-wheel truck which killed him instantly. Bobby's death was the direct result of his parent's ignorance and fear of the word gay. He wanted to be a writer. His hopes and dreams should not have been taken from him but they were. There are children, like Bobby, sitting in your congregations. Unknown to you they will be listening as you echo "amen" and that will soon silence their prayers. Their prayers to God for understanding and acceptance and for your love but your hatred and fear and ignorance of the word gay, will silence those prayers. So, before you echo "amen" in your home and place of worship. Think. Think and remember a child is listening (Memorable Quotes for Prayers for Bobby, 2009)".
References Facts about Bullying and Gay Youth. (2006). GLBT Youth Support Project. Retrieved May 30, 2009, from http://www.hcsm.org/glys/pdf/GLYSFactSheetOnBullying07.pdf Factsheet: Bullying and Gay Youth. (2009). Mental Health America. Retrieved May 30, 2009, from http://www.nmha.org/go/information/get-info/children-s-mental-health/bullying-and-gay-youth Gabriel, D. A. (1996, February 21). Brandon Teena Murderer Sentenced. Janeway. Retrieved May 30, 2009, from http://drycas.club.cc.cmu.edu/~julie/text/teenarage.html Memorable Quotes for Prayers for Bobby. (2009). The Internet Movie Database. Retrieved May 30, 2009, from http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1073510/quotes The Book and movie that religious gay-bashers have no answer for. (n.d.). Retrieved May 30, 2009, from http://lakeweedatarrowhead.net/1atragic.htm World of Criminal Justice on Matthew Shepard. (1999). BookRags. Retrieved May 30, 2009, from http://www.bookrags.com/biography/matthew-shepard-cri/ Written and contributed by Cheery14f.
I have been called a fruit and many other names. But you know what? Youre right, though it may sound derranged. I am that fruit in which you call "lemon". Why should it matter to you if I am or with a man or woman? Like the fruit lemon, I can be sour; Bitter in some ways, which noone can devour. Let's move on to my favorite fruit...the apple. Coated dark red, with a taste no other fruit can sample. I was irresitable to Adam & Eve. Full of the unknown, even they were decieved. Thus, my appearance my change.... But I am still the same person looked at from any angle, any range. I could be that seductive fruit "strawberrry". Or maybe that too good to the pit cherry. Both still catch the human eye. And who could best resemble a fruit than I? So yes, I am fruitty. What a great way to describe me. The nxt time you call me names, think of something harsher that I could be. And why are you really being so cold-hearted? I am a fruit that has been peeled, eaten, and discarded... My seeds are stepped on, pushed into the soil... And there I dwell, But then reborn. Oops, did I toot your horn? Written and contributed by DaisyDisasterous. Winner of Best GLBTQA-Related Poem Contest.
Submitted by devadevalalala. Winner of Best Pride Photo Contest
March's Featured Member is Carly, aka Karithina. She's a newer member, but extremely active. She tied for winner of our Best B&W Edit Contest recently, so congrats are in order for that as well. She posts in existing threads frequently and posts new threads as well and partakes in all our nifty activities here in SA. So thank you for being a wonderful member Carly, and congratulations!
March's Featured Member is Carly, aka Karithina. She's a newer member, but extremely active. She tied for winner of our Best B&W Edit Contest recently, so congrats are in order for that as well. She posts in existing threads frequently and posts new threads as well and partakes in all our nifty activities here in SA. So thank you for being a wonderful member Carly, and congratulations!
