New to VF, so be gentle: on the scale of technology stupidity I am right up there, so if ths profile is not htmled and fancy, then go figure. Currently based in Leeds/Sheffield, and am drilling and filling teeth for my sins. Wella modelling (L'Oreal casting in November >_<) = fun fun fun. Apologies if I don't rush to join a million cults right away, I tend to be fairly selective and will only consider joining if I feel that I can bring something to the cult and visa versa. Ciao :) <br> -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------PROVE ME WRONG - it seems that a large proportion of guys that are into glam metal (and I'm talking Crue, Kiss, all the old school stuff here) seem to be incapable of spelling anything correctly or holding a coherent conversation; i.e. generally appearing really uneducated. I have met very few exceptions to this rule thus far. If you happen to be an intelligent glam metaler, please do message me: prove me wrong, I want to hear from you :) you rare breed. Ciao -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A bunch of fantabulous quotations:

DAD-
a) "You are an ancient worm of royal lineage."
b) "Are those her knees or her boobs?"
c) "You always know when you're talking to a peasant."
d) "If you were related to the whale you could feed off krill *makes sucking noise with teeth"."
e) "I imagine watching paint dry on a microscopic level would actually be quite interesting."
f) "Crispy preacher!" - commentary on a scene from the posiden (sp?) adventure where a priest is fried.

GRAN -
a) "Oh look it's got a little bit of pot in it"

GRANDDAD-
a) "I got her a racy cardigan"
b) "Eat a horse. Drink all sorts."
c) "Happy Denting".

EINSTEIN-
a) "Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater."
b) "If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut."
c) "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."
d) Science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one's living at it."


OTHERS-
a) "For 9 billion you could have written fuck off Germany on the moon." - Frankie Boyle.
b) "But I dont like cock. Honest. I DON'T!!" - Joel.
c) "The dog as turned from the pipe to 60 cigarettes a day, and coughs away his life in the cold neon research lab of your betrayal." - Bill Bailey.
d) "I think you'll find it was Thomas Aquinas who said your bitch was fat..." - Frankie Boyle.
e) "If I had 500 hob-knobs on me, I think you could say I was pushing biscuits." - Andy Parsons.
f) "The sound a black hole make is in fact a B flat some 57 octaves below middle C." - Documentary Guy.
g) "Don't look at the trombones. It only encourages them." - Unknown.
h) "It's amazing how many ugly people there are around" - my 74 year old uncle, proffesor and priest.
i) "I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors." - Online.
j) "That's something out of Alien isn't it - pregnancy?" quote from James after a few drinks.
k) "NARNI - Em, who's the mayor of London? EMILY - Borris Becker."
l) "We were just talking about you" - Glenn. (ha)

ME (MY OWN STUPIDITY SHINIING THROUGH)-
a) "To the parotid, and beyond!"
b) "It's raw! Send it back." (Remark upon tasting sushi in yosushi in Harvey Nick's)
c) (remarked whilst watching a film) "Oh crap I've just read the ending on wikipedia."
d) "It's the retentive nature of the raisin" - on the upper middle class plying their offspring with sugary snacks.
e) "Never mind that she died, think of the acid errosion!" (Exclaimed when told that a girl died of a heart attack after drinking ten vodka red bulls).
f) "Jim is a cruise virgin - deflowered by P&O".




If you're poor, I hope you get rich: if you're rich, I hope you get happy.





WAR IS PEACE


SLAVERY IS FREEDOM


IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH




Marquis de Sade - "Are you working as hard as me? Becuse I'm sweating spinal fluid"