Being loyal to myself isn't always easy in this crappy town, believing that I don't express myself through my clothing but through my actions. I try to stay behind my beliefs at all time (yes I believe in God) but know that it is sometimes better to leave people in their own dreamworld and not waking them up. I am busy making my shield in a world that partly dislikes me for my inner being, partly admires me for it and eventually sometimes likes it. I have recently started to try and be open to the world, my school in particular. I actually started to becoming confident person I always wished to be! I think it actually started when I began to grow interest for the music/lifestyle scenes I've been infiltrating for a while already. It's still a long road though, but that's ok. It's my life goal to be accepted without having to change the way I am (some people could do it appearetly), but actually the fact I try to get that changes me. I don't know how to explain that exactly... it could be just puberty off course.
There were times I was crazy about bmx's.... there are times I am crazy about certain movie frachises... times I am totally into a certain anime serie... hell there are even times I'm crazy about trading cards. But the point is that some things I like really are for a short period, with me wondering afterwards what I liked about it again. I one time started talking to someone from school enthousiastic about my favorite videogame Darkwatch, wich so much energy that even a year after he would still start a conversation with me with the sentence "so... how's Darkwatch lately?" More in a mocking tone I expect, but yeah you can be warned that you risk the same annoying fate if I get along with you. =] But the things I have always kept loving would certainly be churches. The style, the cold temperature and the supernatural atmosphere it shares with other religious and wiccan environments. Especially since they only could keep existing because noone could disprove the things they are based on. I like to dance. I like it as a sport, as a hobby, as an artform and as a way of meditating. I don't want to get too corny on the subject though... people always talking about the "emotional side" of it sometimes seem to forget it's supposed to be entertaining in the first place. What? More stuff I like?... I actually already like the fact that you are still reading all this =]
Dislikes
I don't like how a lot of 15-year-olds think that being drunk is a necessity at a party and to become "a big boy/girl" in general. Actually I don't like in general how the first question people ask you when you have been out the day before is "where you drunk?". I wonder why everybody cares about that, why it is such a big deal to teens. One of the few other things that annoy me are spoilers. I get really angry when people tell me the end of a movie or book, I actually don't even like reading the back text of a book. The less I know about something I haven't watched or red yet, the better, unless I am almost sure I will never get the book or movie in my hands or if I have no interest in reading or watching it. If I already know a main character will die i.e. I loose interest in that character and feel like I'm actually waiting for the actually scene that the character dies, making me not shocked. I watch a movie better alone, since I want complete silence, if people watch the movie with me I want them to shut up as long as it's playing, some are annoyed by that, but that is one bad aspect of me I really am not willing to change.
Favorite Music
I listen to music from all different kind of genres. Some are more a necessity though, like the RnB I have to use to practise my alltime favourite sports of streetdance and jazz ballet. At home, as in my room, I adore poking a cd in of Depeche-Mode, SOM, Marilyn Manson, ASP or some compilation. When I find myself without any of my cd's I'd have to depend on my mp3 or if possible rather internet ^^ Then I like to put playlists on with songs of events I've been too. And those parties would probably be your average cyber or batcave related events, preferably the last kind, only too bad it costs me a butload of train tickets... I've also started to like psychobilly and other country-like songs, they're so hyper =]
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