Kill_my_innocence at Vampirefreaks.com

� Name: Alex
� Sex: Androgynous
� Location: The city that never sleeps
� Age: 6
� Status: Loved
� Orientation: Gay

For starters, I'm a Christmas baby... seriously. I'm pretty small... maybe too small, but I like it that way. It makes it easier for me to hide away. I also use my hair to hide when I find myself stuck out in the open. I don't like eye contact, and it bugs people because they can know me for ages, but never really know what color my eyes are (purplish blue). Because of personal reasons, I left high school at an early age. My biological family disowned me, so therefore I am adopted. I love my adopted family... they mean the whole world to me, as do my friends. Now my parents and I are trying to mend our relationship, but we'll see how that turns out.

Like some people, I still need to find myself... and therefore, I don't know what my path in life is, or have any idea where it will lead to. I used to know who I was, but now I'm different. Because of some not so great events in my life, I lost sight of myself along the way. I do know that I'm a very caring person, perhaps too much, and I have a lot of love to give. But I only want to give it to family and friends, because any other way is too risky. I've been hurt before in the past. Not just any heartbreak that's normal for a teen... I wish it were. I wouldn't be where I am today. I will of course admit that I've been worse off... back when I had absolutely no one. At least now I know I have some truly amazing people in my life who I would die for if it came to that.

Maybe some of you might find this a bit odd, but much of my comfort lies with animals rather than people. In my opinion, people are much too complicated. In fact, I am a volunteer at a local animal shelter. Even the wildest of animals don't go around hurting people for the sheer, sinister pleasure of it. At least they have real reasons... and it works for them. People are so much more cruel than even the most vicious beast you'll ever come across. They have pushed me into a shell that I'm not so sure I'll ever really stray too far from.

At some point in my life, I was considered a very innocent person. I guess I still am in many ways, but not like I was before. I've been corrupted and I'm not the same person I once was... that part of me was slaughtered, hence my username. Too many contradicting thoughts and emotions flood my mind and I never really know what to make of them. Sometimes it feels like I'll literally be torn to shreds by it all. Not possible, I know... but it feels that way. Some things I'm just too afraid to tell... even to the closest people to me. People have tried to make me more open, but I don't think I could ever reach that level.

Sometimes I think about running away... but chances are I won't. I don't have what it takes to make such great leaps. My heart is taken by someone who will never really know how much they mean to me. I can say it a million times over, but it will never even begin to describe my feelings. I'm constantly paranoid that in the end, I'm only going to end up having my heart shattered into billions of pieces. Some part of me has already braced itself for the harsh blow. I love deeply and passionately, and once I give you my heart, you will always have it. Unfortunately, I always seem to fall for the ones I shouldn't. I'll love you even if I can't have you... even if you hurt me. I'll love you even after I'm gone, and no matter what you've done to me, I'll never have anything but best wishes for you. Sometimes the people I love the most, are also the people I resent the most. I'm a very jealous person. I usually prefer to hide my deepest feelings... I write a lot of them down, but there's some I try to protect so desperately that any evidence of them exists only in my own mind.

Warning: Whatever you do, do NOT fall in love with me.

?Leave me voice comments!?

Sleeping
Neon & pastel colors
Cowboys
Affection
Tim Burton
Reading
Writing
Photography
Rainy nights
Friends
Laurel's boobs
Open mindedness
Creativity
Mythology
Chewing on people's hair
Being petted
Fleece
Hugs
Cuddling
Playing with peoples ears
Getting my hair brushed
Panda bears
Teddy bears
Sleeping
Voice comments
Bubble baths
Blankets fresh out the dryer
Yoshi
Candles
Coloring

Liars
Cheaters
Homophobes
Not knowing what to do with myself
Getting heartbroken
School
Big groups
Not being able to speak my mind
Being sick
Discrimination
Loud noises
Losing people close to me
Mean people
Worrying
Insomnia
Closed mindedness
Not being able to let go
Animal cruelty
Abuse
The fact that nice guys finish last
Having nightmares
Being restrained
Judgmental people
People who abuse their authority
Crying

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