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JudaeusApella
"For he today that sheds his blood with me, shall be my brother" - William Shakespeare
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Latest Journal Entry: It's Gonna Rain! January 19, 2010, 05:59am
Profile:   Hello, my name is David. :D The best way to describe my self right now is that I'm going through transitions, while I discover and invent myself. I'm doing this by trying to learn about my self through my experiences and learn from others, while trying to develop my own opinions, my own style, and my own identity. I'm always looking to make a new friend and yes I am looking for that someone special. Every day I hope I find my other half. Someone said I should add what makes me happy. Hmmm well, a lover sitting in my lap, snuggling me is probably the number one thing that makes me happy. My kitten Angel makes me happy, I love photography, and I really enjoy meeting and learning about people I have a lot in common with.  Electrocrete: "You're just like you always were, stands up for what's right and stubborn till the end." Personality: I guess you could say I'm giving, fatherly, kind, empathetic, friendly, open minded, pure, funny, knowledgeable, mechanically inclined, and naive, but in other ways also opinionated, on guard, reclusive, dark, untrusting, smart, and a raging pervert. Hey, at least I can be honest about my self. Can you say the same? I've always had sort of a dark personality, then in my 20's started wearing more and more black... and now that's almost all I wear. I was always mature and stayed out of trouble as a kid, which made me a target for just about every asshole I ever walked past. So I was horribly tortured from elementary to the end of high school. Fast forward about 10 years and I suffer from social anxiety and have a lot of trouble meeting people locally. Don't get me wrong! I'm a nice guy... friendly, I just get nervous around people I want to know, and muddle my words, act strange, say the wrong thing, act ditsy, etc. It never fails to amaze me how conceded and snobby most people I meet are, constantly judging everyone they meet and writing them off before ever giving them half a chance. This seems to happen to me a lot, and I don't understand it. I'm polite and talk like I have a brain. *shrug* Its more difficult for me because its hard for me to show people what I'm really like unless they stick around for a while and give me half a chance to get comfortable around them. Never learned how to "hang out" and meet people... so my social life is zilch. I'd like to change that, but I can't do it alone. :( What's Going On With Me: Right now I'm just trying to work to get from A to B. I plan on finishing up college as soon as I figure out just what the hell I want to do with my life. I'm also shopping for a car which I plan to get in March. Right now I'm looking at used 2007 Volkswagen GTi and 2010 Kia 2.4 Koupes. I'm also trying to build a cheap yet good sounding home theater since I spend more time inside than outside. Checking out used 5.1 and 7.1 receivers on Ebay. Hobbies: I love computers, the hardware that is. Modding, building, shopping for new parts. It's a lot of fun. :D Right now I'm in the process of working on my 2009 build. 1000 Watts of power. :D It's not done yet, but its in my journal if you're interested. (Clicky on the pic below.)  Likes: Women with accents! RAWR!Anyone who takes the risk to get to know me... Girls with loud hair colors, especially bright crimson red! When a girl with long hair is always doing something with her hair. Bump or something else if she's wearing it down, wearing it up, pony tail. Rawr Randomness! Zombies! Hugging! Being With Friends!(If I had any) Emilie Autumn... she's an immature self involved bitch who hates ALL men, but I love her for her talent anyway. lol Fuzzy Spiders! Anyone who isn't afraid to express or be them self, is honest, and can talk about anything. Anyone fun and outgoing, warm, friendly, and understanding. Anyone good, honest, trustworthy, and loyal. I also enjoy hating haters. It's okay to hate people who hate for stupid reasons, but its wrong to hate a hater hater. Besides that would make you a hater hater hater.... and that just wouldn't make any sense would it?  Dislikes: IMMATURITY!!!FANBOYS!!! COPS!! Pigs with Power. Bullies with Badges.  Ignorance, racism, melodrama, bullshit, stuck ups, self-involved assholes, corruption, gossiping, back stabbing, sluts, casual sex, drunks, pot heads, etc. Just the normal stuff I guess... Anyone who judges or assumes things, especially by appearances or on first impressions. People who use or mistreat others. Women who wear those pregnancy looking baby doll outfits. My gawd, who ever invented that shit better hope I never run into them. Women who think it's my job to make the first move. You're not helpless, you can do it half the time. Men who act like a nice guy to get between the legs of what ever girl he's talking to. They give the real nice guys like me a bad rep. Women who wear a LOT of eyeshadow, especially the intencely colored eyeshadows... unless they're really artistic or tasteful with it, then it looks good. There are so many women who do it wrong and end up looking trashy, and that look seems to be developing into an advertising fad lately. LOL Everyone I know will probably back me up on this, so I'm not alone! (I ADORE black eye liner though!) I don't hate people who are visualy boring... but I choose not to be around them, cause they honestly bore the hell out of me. I'm talking about people who look and dress very vanilla or dumpy with no expression of style, women who go with the "natural" look (yuck!) or just don't do much with themselves, and people who like the color beige way too much! I've always been a very visual person (which is probably why I like photography so much!). So the way someone looks and presents them self does have a degree of importance to me. I'm definately NOT shallow and its not like I expect anyone to put on a fashion show or anything... but there are just so many people who don't try to look good or just don't put any effort into the way they look. I'm not the type of person who spends an hour in front of the mirror, but I won't go out with messy hair and old clothes. Me personally, I'm fond of goth, alternative, and industrial people.... and it irritates me when someone ONLY expresses that part of them self when they go clubbing at night, but in that case its usually just a fasion show and they're not really part of that subculture. I wish more people would express themselves 24/7.... its like all the subculture dies during the day and only comes out at night in the clubs. I never see anyone like that in stores, coffee shops, driving to work, working anywhere, etc. I HATE walking into any store or restaurant, and noticing 90% of the people in there are chubby, badly out of shape, grossly overweight, or just obese... That is another thing that really irritates me. This problem is really getting out of control in the US, especially where I live. Did you know that as of this year, the standard seat belt size used by US car manufacturers does not fit nearly 75% of Americans!? They actually had to lengthen the belts! Really... how hard is it not to eat fast food, use the stairs instead of the elevator, go for a run a few times a week, walk around the park, lift some weights, walk the dog, eat healthier foods, eat less, actually sit down in the morning and eat so your metabolism isn't fucked for the rest of the day then eat a small dinner and not stuff your face before you go to bed! The answer? Its not... people are just getting more and more lazier with their thoughts, attitude, and lifestyle and more obsessed with doing everything as fast as they can every year in this country, and it really needs to stop. I feel really guilty when I have to say no to girl who has just asked me out, because she's chubby or larger. (I don't feel bad if she's hot but stupid, it makes my day.) I understand that she's a person with feelings and that personality is very important, but it’s 50/50 for me… and that’s the way it should be. You have to have a decent amount of both to get anywhere with me. I don't think I'm shallow, in fact I think its healthy to be attracted to someone who is superior in physical and mental attributes... compared to someone who is either lazy, out of shape, or unintelligent. It’s called Darwinism. If a girl looks like she hasn't gotten exercise is in the past 10 years, I won't be interested in her in the least. I think anyone who says personality is more important that looks is deluding themselves, or is just trying to make them self feel better for one reason or another Yeah, a lot of people have medical problems that cause weight issues. Well, a lot of those problems are CAUSED by being unhealthy in the first place. If more people actually took care of themselves, we wouldn't have so many unhealthy overweight children guzzeling down cola, because they'd have better role models. Someone told me she walked into a McDonald's, and there was this grossly obese person in an electronic wheelchair stuffing their face with several burgers. She was so disgusted she left. Why would someone do that to them self!? Beliefs: First off, I believe that life is a gift and those who take it or disrespect it, do not deserve to keep the gift of life that's been given to them. Its not about revenge, its about justice and punishment. I only believe in an eye for an eye, when it comes to the taking and abuse of life. Religion: I have an odd relationship with what ever one might call "god". In one way I'm athiest, and proud to be one... but not in the typical way most people are athiest. First of all I DO NOT AND WILL NOT worship any god or mortal, EVER. I'm very against worshiping. To raise anything up to that kind of standard is just asking for trouble. I'm also very against magical thinking because I believe it spreads ignorance and puts people out of touch with reality, especially when dogma is involved. However, I do believe in science and I do think that possibly there are greater forces that we may not yet be able to comprehend or understand, so I don't believe in the classic existance of a "god". I think if there was a god, it would probably frown at people who worship it. It would want to see us learn and grow and become something great it could be proud of, not waste our time on outdated ways of thinking, worshiping him/her, and fighting over differences in our religions. Of course you can believe what you want to believe, but please respect how I feel and don't talk religiously around me or try to convert me. YOU WILL piss me off if you tell me you feel sorry for me because I don't believe what you do. I hate people who do that. In my opinion, most religions boil down to "Invisible magical being(s) run(s) the world, and need mortals to worship them." I think any belief that worships any kind god or mortal or immortal is just completely ridiculous, and we should have evolved beyond that type of very limited uneducated scope of thinking by now. On the topic of religion, there's something else I feel very strong about. I believe that the mind of a child is blank slate, and the environment they are raised in has a very large impact on how they learn to think. If someone has been raised on religion, then that's the way they've learned to think since birth. So yes, I believe it is moraly wrong to raise a child on religion. Why? Because it's controlling the way a blank mind learns how to think before they're old enough to devolope free will in the way they want to choose to think, after being properly educated. In other words, its a form of brain washing. I don't think most people mean to do it, but still they do it to their children. I think if you raised a child simply on knowlege and morals, without any religion, then exposed them to the history and all the different types of religion and what it really means, they'd choose not to worship a god. Why? Because they've learned to think using common sense, and the concept of a magical all powerful being sounds completely rediculous. This belief I feel is a very powerful threat to the church. Why do you think the church has burned millions of books since its creation? This is WHY parents and churches try so hard to introduce religion at an early age, because its easier to convert someone who is totally innocent and naive. And I believe this practice is EVIL and DISPICABLE, and I wish the world was evolved enough to make laws against such things. And that overwhelming sense of love and meaning people claim they gain through religion... you don't need religion to find that. Its already inside you. Most people are just too ignorant and out of touch with their heart to figure that out, and in the process they become a brainwashed religious tool who doesn't know any other way to think other than how they've been taught to think... a number. Take me for instance. I'm not religious, yet beneith the rough edges of my personality, I'm actually a very caring, loyal, passionate person with a very large capacity to love. I care for all forms of life, and when I see anyone or anything suffering or hurting, it deeply effects me. I desperately wish to share that part of my self with people, especially a lover, but everyone I meet would rather judge, hate, hurt, backstab, gossip, and do and say thoughtless things, or they're just too busy thinking about themself and their own problems to give a shit about anyone else. And guess what... most of those people ARE RELIGIOUS! Hmmmm interesting...  I've always believed I'm inharently a good person, compared to most people. And I think the fact that anyone who has ever hurt me has been ripped a new one by karma, is proof enough of that. Everyone who has ever hurt me or my family, has been seriously fucked by either natural occurances or the results of their own doing. Because of that, I believe in karma... but I don't really know what it is. All I know is I try very hard not to tempt it to come looking for me. So I never start anything with anyone, go looking for trouble, or intentionally hurt anyone. If there is trouble, I try to slip away. Besides, I never grew up in areas where learning to fight was much of a priority. I've never raised a fist to anyone, and don't plan to.... well, you know unless my life is in danger or someone else's I care about. Political/Current Events: As for political, I'm somewhere between liberal and democratic, though from what I've seen the democratic process doesn't work because citizens don't take advantage of it and even a democratic government is prone to many different forms of corruption and greed. People who live in democratic nations often become lazy, and every other form of government I've read about has much worse flaws or is totaly corrupt. So I don't know of any other better suggestions... Trusting people in power is a very tricky subject because no one is incorruptable. I guess what I'm saying is that any form of government is directly as strong as the people are who created it and keep it alive. Humans are easily controlled, corrupted, or misled by others or by their own ambitions or greed. If you could absolutely trust in someone with total power, then something along the lines of a dictatorship would actually work.... but it doesn't because people are fundimentally flawed. Until we overcome these problems, we'll never stop fighing and government will never work. I don't like the way our government is run and the way our resources are being used. Political agendas seem to run the military and gawd only knows what the military is spending our money on. For a government that's supposed to be run by the people, we have almost no power at all. Why? Because we're all so offended by each others differences and there are so many religious tools, ignorent right wing nuts, and lazy slobs who don't get involved, no one can agree on anything and not enough people group together to demand change. If millions of people signed a petition, marched in the streets, or all protested in DC demanding they change something, they'd do it! We have that power, but we don't use it.... Corrupted greedy officials, corporates, the rich, left wing and right wing nut jobs, huge companies, and power hungry assholes have a foot hold in every part of our government and our economy. Terrorism, hate, violence, genocide, starvation, and disease are on the rise all over the world, and our plate is already full with the problems we have in our own country, but we're too busy hating and arguing about our differences. We're going to need some seriously smart bastards to fix all these problems within my lifetime. I believe in gay rights, a woman's right to choose, pro abortion, same sex marriages, all for stem cell research and stem cell cloning, racial equality, women's rights, etc. But what I don't put up with women who ask for equality, then want special treatment and try use their sex to get away with shit. I also hate it when blacks rant about how hard their race struggled for equality and complain about how they're oppressed by whites and the upper class, but then turn around an act like a racist fuck towards whites. THATS NOT HELPING YOUR CAUSE JACK ASS. I do not put up with hypocrits and people who try to use double standards. I also hate it when people try to distort a political issue with extremist black and white opinions and images, instead of sticking to the facts and also taking into account the grey areas. Religion also has NO place in polotics or polotical issues or practices. Whats going on with kids and teens these days really concerns me and I think its gotten to the point where the government needs to step in and impliment sex education programs that everyone under 18 is required to take, regardless of religion. Right now, teen pregnancy is at its highest rate in US history and AIDS is as bad as it is in Africa. There is just so much to this topic, too much to get into in here. But I'm less angry at the kids doing it than the parents raising them and the media for introducing sex to them starting at an early age, and glamorizing hollywood sluts when they get knocked up at an early age. Then of course there's the fact that drug use in teens is completely out of control, and parents are completely oblivious to it. I think abortion is incredibly important as a very very last resort, especially when people are not at a point in their life when a baby can be raised in a suitable environment or is something they even want. I fully support abortion as long as the pregnancy is caught early and the baby hasn't developed beyond a lump of cellular growth. When that cellular growth forms a working brain and nervous system, then yes its WRONG! See? Its not so black and white after all. There is a time when its okay to do it and when its not. Its not just right or wrong period. Middle ground... what a concept! Favorite Music: Emilie Autumn, Servo.Hatred, Nine Inch Nails, Birthday Massacre, Alice In Chains, The Police, Pearl Jam, Zombie Girl, CombiChrist, DE/VISION, VNV Nation, God Module, Velvet Revolver, Angel Spit, Marilyn Manson, Gorillaz, Boards of Canada, Poets of the Fall, The Pillows, HYDE, Shiny Toy Guns, Garbage, Puddle of Mudd... and tons more.I like pretty much anything except speed or death metal, or anything with too much screaming and random notes. Country music is my kryptonite, keep that crap away from me! Movies: I like action, sci-fi, thriller, suspense, mystery, and some anime, but only the good stuff. None of that mass produced anime crap. Television: I'm really getting into Death Note. I occationally watch Doctor Who, but I'm not sure about that show anymore... its gotten a little predictable and boring. Top Gear and Family guy are my favorites, but I also watch Battlestar Galactica and Stargate Atlantis. Other than that, the little TV I watch is what ever happens to be on at the moment I'm channel surfing, or perhapse a movie on HBO. I CAN'T STAND REALITY SHOWS!!! //// 
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